Holier than Thou
by nicayal
Summary: During his senior year of high school, Demyx just wants to start over, and he's hoping Holy Hearts Academy is the place to do it. Too bad Axel seems to have other plans. AkuDemy, Zemyx, SoRiku. Sequel forthcoming.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note**: Uh…hi again? This is me trying to write from Demyx's point of view and hopefully not failing miserably. Apart from our mutually dashing good looks (har har), he and I have nothing in common. I mean, I took piano lessons when I was, like, six, but otherwise? No.

This is another prompt-fic, one that I should've said no to since I'd only offered to write a drabble/one-shot and the prompt was a little too complex to fit into a piece of writing so short. Instead, I took it on and it morphed into this weird little homage to movies like "Saved" and "The Wise Kids", and hopefully offers a fresh take on what happens when a gay kid ends up at a conservative Christian high school and is just trying to start over, fit in, and stay true to both his faith and identity.

**Reviews**: I'm happy for any comments you might feel inclined to leave on this fic. I'm particularly interested to hear from readers who might've had an experience in a religious high school as to whether I'm accurately portraying it. I grew up in a conservative religious environment but my only experience with religious high schools was a three-week stint in a Christian boarding school at 14 (don't ask). Otherwise, it's been mostly public schools for me, so I'm mostly just pantsing it with this fic.

**Rating**: Overall, T for non-explicit mature themes, including but not limited to light sexual innuendos, swearing, debate over a character's suicidal/self-harm ideation, references to religious anti-gay bigotry and other anti-LGBT sentiments. I'd say most readers in their teens or older can handle the content in this fic without much issue. It's pretty tame.

**Prompt**: By kingdom-hearts-babe on dA: "_demyx just moved to twilight town and axel is the popular guy and falls in love with demy but demy doesn't think its real love so axel has to prove to dem that he truly loves him._" (Er...you see how there's no way in heck I could've managed this as a one-shot? Yeah. I tried to stick to the spirit of the request as well as I could, although I took some liberties with the "falls in love" bit just for the sake of keeping it realistic.)

* * *

><p>"Welcome to Holy Hearts Academy, where a <em>great<em> education is taught from a strong Christian foundation!"

Demyx blinked, stared across at the perky, red-haired girl standing in front of him, just within the doorframe of the administrator's office for new arrivals. She hadn't even let him introduce himself, had just chirped right up, smile pasted on her face, wine-colored hair bobbing gently in the loose ponytail it was held back in.

Clearing his throat, Demyx approached, his empty book bag slung casually over the side of one oxford shirt-clad shoulder. "Uh, hi," he said, meaning to continue, but getting cut off almost immediately.

"Hi! How can I help you this morning at Holy Hearts Academy?"

Demyx hesitated, put off by the almost robotic quality of the girl's inflection. Wow, if ever there was a case for brain-washing…

He forced the thought aside. Not now. Not on his first day. Sometimes he just couldn't help himself. Now, at a moment when he could, he bit his tongue.

"Yeah, so I'm new here, and I need—"

"Oh! You're new!"

Demyx shot her a perturbed look. _That's what I said, yeah._

His exasperation was lost on the girl as her head dipped under the counter she was standing behind. Sounds of rummaging soon drifted up to him, as did the click of an opening door.

"Got it," she trilled, pulling out a few files. "Are you… Demyx or Olette?" Again the bright smile. Again, the incredulous look appeared on a dirty blond haired newcomer's face. Was she being serious?

"Jesus, Kai," a low voice drawled from behind them. "Does he really _look_ like an Olette now? Hair's not long enough."

Counter girl's smile froze on her lips as she apparently took in the new arrival's presence. Out of the corner of his eye, Demyx noted long, red hair in a color that couldn't possibly be natural. Something told him the tattoos on that guy's face weren't exactly all that god-given either…

His mouth still half-open, ready to respond to the girl's original question, Demyx's voice died in his throat as he got a better look at the newcomer.

_Frack_. He'd always had a weakness for green eyes.

An impatient sound snapped his head back toward the desk.

"_Axellll_!" Wine red hair bobbed in synchronization with raised shoulders as the girl crossed her arms over her chest, pursing her lips in the process. "Isn't it a little early for you to be at school?"

The red-head sauntered forward, his stance practically screaming indifference as he took in the girl. It was a surprisingly unpredatory look for someone Demyx figured had very little difficulty getting what he wanted.

_With those eyes_…

Stepping up to his side, the red-head — Axel, apparently — ignored Demyx entirely, pulling a slip of paper out of his tight, neatly pressed khaki pants. "I'm here on official business today, dear sister."

Ah. Well, one mystery solved, Demyx supposed.

Snatching the note up, the girl's eyes traveled over it quickly, her expression becoming increasingly livid as seconds passed. Eyes skyward for a moment, she clasped her hands. "Lord, give me strength," she muttered.

Axel copied the motion, his tone far less reverent. "Lord, get _me_ out of detention."

Turning her back to Demyx, the girl's expression darkened. "I can't believe…I mean, of all people…" she began sputtering, her words edging toward something a little beyond exasperation. Then, as though remembering herself, a motherly expression replaced one of frustration. "Why Roxas? Can I ask?"

Axel blinked, expressionless, green eyes simply regarding her. Then, a quick glance at Demyx and back again. "Really, Kairi. Let's not give the newbie a bad impression of our upstanding academic institution. It's only his first day. He's still got textbooks to acquire, schedules to memorize, confessions to make about all the sinful things he's done recently."

Turning his eyes to Demyx, Axel shot him a suggestive look, moving his gaze lower, over Demyx's untucked oxford shirt, then up again. "Not to presume, of course."

A tingling heat burst through Demyx's chest, forcing him to bite the inside of his lip to keep the gaze he returned a level one.

The girl huffed. "Don't be disgusting, Axel. It goes against God. And _Jesus_."

Axel scoffed a little. "Yeah, well so do your ear piercings."

The girl's face was an open book from Demyx's vantage point, and right now it was clearly a mixture between annoyed and just plain baffled.

Leaning toward Demyx conspiratorially, Axel lowered his voice to a whisper. A loud whisper that was easily audible from where Kairi stood. "Leviticus 19:28."

A second later, Axel turned back to the desk, a serious look now gracing his features. "I'd be more than happy to be his guide for the day."

From the looks of things on Demyx's end, it seemed like the girl who'd been called both Kai and Kairi was about to blow a fuse. Her lips transformed into a tight, thin line as she stared up at the red-head.

"Absolutely not. You only have two classes together. I've already aligned his schedule with someone else's."

A ginger eyebrow lifted a bit. "Whose?"

Kairi straightened, expression resolute. "None of your business."

If Demyx had expected Axel to protest, he was well off the mark. The taller boy shrugged, all expression replaced by that same nonchalant indifference, not even bothering to say good-bye as he sauntered out the door and back into the hall. Demyx found his eyes fixed on the last place Axel had been, as if in a daze.

It was the younger girl's voice that brought him back to his senses.

"I'm _so_ sorry about that," she said, her pitch still high, apparently at the end of her tether. "My brother's a good guy. He just needs a bit more of the Lord's guidance than most, I'm afraid."

"Right." Demyx drew the word out, keeping his tone as neutral as possible.

"And he's not even _right_ about that stupid verse," she burst out. "The New Testament _obviously_ absolves our need to follow all those outdated laws."

Demyx merely nodded. _Yeah, except when it comes to being gay. _

That one still got people pretty riled up. Especially his parents. And they'd said this was his last chance…

He closed his eyes, shook his head once, willing the memory of that conversation away. Not now. Not here.

"Anyway," Kairi continued, oblivious to the turmoil that was bubbling right beneath the surface of the sandy blond haired, blue eyed newcomer's outward expression. "Sorry for the interruption." She looked down at the file in front of her. "So you're…Demyx then?"

Holy Hearts' newest senior nodded in the affirmative, acutely aware of the sound of a door opening once again.

He and Kairi looked up in unison, Demyx expectantly, Kairi with pursed lips. A moment later, she broke out into a smile.

"Ah, great. Your guide."

Wide blue eyes looked up at him out from under a shock of messy brown hair. The boy was compact but looked athletic in his school uniform, a stark contrast to the fiery tresses, tall lankiness, and challenging expression held in eyes of acid green just moments before.

The boy approached with a quiet confidence, looking Demyx over curiously but without any apparent investment in his new charge.

"Demyx," Kairi said. "This is Sora. He'll be in all of your classes, unless you add on band last period, since he has choir that hour."

It was probably good Kairi didn't see the blond flinch at the mention of band, yet flinch he did, as the image of blue eyes and complimenting slate hair emerged from the recesses of his memories.

"Sora is an honor roll student, and our head pastor's nephew," Kairi continued, completely oblivious to Demyx's momentary emotional slip. "He'll help show you your locker, get you your textbooks, and make sure you settle in."

Sora nodded after each activity Kairi checked off her mental list and reached across the desk to take a sheet of paper Kairi was holding up for him. Then it was back to business for Kairi. Or maybe just back to being a robot.

She smiled automatically, eyes distant as though her mind was already elsewhere.

"Nice to have you at Holy Hearts, and welcome to Twilight Town!"


	2. Chapter 2

Demyx followed Sora out of the administration office, and down a hall into the heart of the school.

"We'll go find your locker first," Sora said. "Then I can take you to Calculus."

"Cool," Demyx replied, keeping his voice nonchalant, eyes observant, as they made their way down the hall. This school seemed somehow stricter than his last. The closer it came to eight o'clock, the more students started to arrive. But their movements in the corridor were purposeful, there was no lingering at lockers, no loud voices ringing out. Everything was a low, respectful murmur. In a way, it was a little creepy.

"Where did you move from?" Sora's voice broke his concentration enough to distract Demyx from his worrisome thoughts before they could form into even darker, possibly inaccurate assumptions.

Demyx looked down a titch, regarding the boy by his side. "Oh, not from too far off," he said, choosing his words carefully. "My family just lives over the hills, in Traverse."

He hadn't moved at all, in fact. Just boarded at his last school. It hadn't been so bad, at least not until…

"Do you board here?" Demyx asked, cutting off his own thoughts as they began to stray into dangerous territory.

Sora looked up, surprise in his eyes. "Oh, no. My family lives here, in Twilight Town. The only people who board are the…"

Sora trailed off, face flushing a little, as Demyx looking over curiously. _The what_, he wondered, opened his mouth to ask. But Sora surged ahead, skipping a little in front of him as he retrieved the paper Kairi had handed him from his pocket. "Your locker should be on this row," he said, running a finger lightly across the black-paneled numbers. "Same row as mine…just a little further down."

Demyx followed dutifully, eyes wandering, unconsciously searching for the red-head he'd encountered earlier. There was no apparent sign of him in this hallway, at least.

"Here, I found it." Sora pointed to the last locker in the row and consulted the sheet of paper again before starting to plug in the combo. It clicked in easily, the locker opening with a light metallic clang.

A moment later, Sora turned, arm outstretched as he handed the paper to Demyx.

"Your locker combination is on this sheet, same for your class schedule."

Before Demyx could respond, long silverly white hair invaded his vision, as a boy only an inch or two shorter than himself appeared to Sora's right. He eyed Demyx carefully, wordlessly, as he stepped in closer to Sora. There was possessiveness in his stance.

"Hi," the newcomer said, tone curt, expression impassive.

At the sound of the voice, Sora turned, a bright smile lighting up his entire face.

"Oh, Demyx. This is Riku. He'll be in some of our classes too."

Almond shaped eyes of the most unique color gazed back at him, although having already spoken once, Riku merely nodded an acknowledgement now.

"Hey," Demyx returned, eyeing the pair somewhat carefully. They were so close to one another, Sora's smile so bright that it was possible…well…it made sense that…

"Oh man," he breathed out, his voice full of relief. "Is this place cool with gay couples? Sure as heck could've fooled me when I first got…"

The words died in his throat as Sora visibly blanched.

"What!" The shorter boy's voice was a high-pitched squeak. Immediately, Demyx knew he'd make a mistake.

"Riku and I ar-aren't homosexuals." Sora was stammering now. "Why would you…I mean, that would go…"

Sora looked up at Riku, seemingly for guidance, but the taller boy's eyes were on Demyx, a strange expression gracing his otherwise stoic features.

"Against God," Demyx supplied, his voice soft, stomach flipping.

"Yes, exactly," Sora responded, nodding with unparalleled eagerness.

Demyx put his hands up in a peaceable display, forcing a nonchalant smile on his face. "My mistake," he said, thinking quickly. "I was just trying to be tolerant. Y'know, just in case."

His expression might have been easy-going, but inside Demyx was reeling. This place was going to be worse than the last. His parents probably had someone watching out for him here too, seeing whether he truly was reformed or if it was all just a show to avoid a less desirable fate. It could even be Sora. It'd make sense, with him having been assigned as a guide, after all. And here Demyx had gone and just practically blurted out that he was okay with gays...

Refusing to outwardly show the turmoil he felt, Demyx bit the inside of his cheek as hard as he dared, feeling a sense of helplessness wash over him. It was mixed with a healthy dose of anger he knew he couldn't show.

Apparently taking his words at face value, Sora nodded, if a bit warily. "Well, you won't have to worry about that liberal propaganda at Holy Hearts," he said, his tone still a little uncertain. "The teachers make sure of it."

Behind him, Demyx noted a slight grimace on Riku's face. Even the idea of gay people disgusted this crowd, it seemed. What would they think if they knew Demyx had…

"Come on," Riku said, breaking the silence that was beginning to settle awkwardly between them. His voice was hard, tone still curt. "Let's get to Calc. You still have to introduce him to Mr. Valentine before class starts," he reminded Sora.

A pensive expression remained on his face, but Sora nodded slowly, eyes fixed scrutinizingly on Demyx as though trying to read his mind. Demyx, for his part, kept his expression as neutral as possible. Hopefully it would look like his verbal faux pas was the last thing on his mind any longer.

They turned together, Riku moving slightly away from Sora as the shorter boy took his place next to Demyx. They walked in silence down a few adjacent halls, before Sora finally looked up at the newcomer once more.

"You're probably going to want to tuck your shirt in. The teachers here are real strict about that." Sora's voice was quiet, somewhat guarded as he eyed the new student with a newly wary eye.

Demyx stopped dead in his tracks for a moment, barely suppressing a curse, as he tucked in his shirt quickly in front of the pair. "Crap," he said, forcing that same good-natured tone into his voice that he felt like he'd been feigning all morning. "Thanks. I didn't know."

Again, that uneasy look. Again, a brief nod from Sora, and a scowl from his companion.

Then it was back to following Sora and his not-boyfriend Riku, this time into their first class of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

By the end of the day, Demyx was quite certain his parents hadn't so much given him a choice between freedom and institutionalization but between similar forms of the same punishment, one just slightly subtler than the other.

This school was a nightmare.

Every class they entered required very nearly the same introduction. This much Demyx had expected. He was new, after all; he'd need to meet each teacher and obtain a textbook for every class. It made sense.

What he didn't quite expect was the scripted way each teacher introduced him to the class, or the rehearsed response every student recited immediately after.

It felt nothing short of a military school, the way the students spoke so precisely in unison, the way they all paid attention so intently. Sure, his last school had been strict about certain things, but this was downright creepy.

It didn't help either that he had two classes with the red-head Axel.

By all observations, Axel was just as well-behaved as the rest of his classmates. In both periods where the bright red hair caught Demyx's attention, his new classmate had recited the welcome identically to all the others.

"In God's name, we welcome you to Holy Hearts, Demyx."

It was practiced, no smiles. Yet Demyx had found his eyes drawn to red hair, green eyes. Smoldering green, for that matter. Although Axel's expression betrayed nothing, his eyes told a different story, one that brought an uncomfortable heat to Demyx's chest. It was a hungry, salacious look.

And then it was gone, green eyes looking down, opening his textbook as instructed, in time with the other students in the room. And Demyx's thoughts were left to wander, unsure whether it was wiser to focus on green eyes instead of blue, on red hair or that which had been dyed slate.

By the end of the day, Sora was starting to look like a veritable rebel compared to the other personalities he'd come across. Or maybe the rebel among them was Riku, his long hair seemingly defying rules within a school with such tight restrictions on just about everything. The only other guy Demyx had seen with anything other than short hair had been Axel, actually, and even his red hair had been pulled neatly behind him by the time Demyx saw him in the first class they had together..

Man, he couldn't wait to get away from this place.

Sora seemed to be having similar thoughts, but maybe for different reasons. As they stopped by their lockers, the shorter boy looked up, eyes regarding Demyx carefully from behind a Gospel Studies textbook he was returning to the confines of his locker.

"Do you know your way home from here?" he asked almost tentatively. Demyx immediately gleaned the underlying meaning: Can I go, or am I required to stay and talk to you longer?

It was fine, he told himself. Sora's just trying to be nice. It doesn't have anything to do with earlier.

Except he couldn't help but feel that that's exactly what was causing the somber, untrusting expression he was observing now.

"Yeah," he replied, pasting on a grin for appearance's sake. "One of my parents is supposed to pick me up after work. Should be here soon, actually."

In any other place, at any other school, eighteen year old Demyx wouldn't have admitted he was catching a ride from a parent under pain of death. He had his own car, even if it was a beater, had gotten his license the moment he'd turned sixteen. He just wasn't allowed to _use_ either right now.

This, along with his new academic setting, had been part of the punishment. It had been part of his retribution and renewal, if you asked his parents.

No car, no friends or bad influences from his last school. Just a fresh start, renewed faithfulness. That meant being dropped off and picked up for school by a parent every day, something that would've been a serious cramp on his social life just a few months earlier, especially after the relative freedom of boarding at a school away from home. He'd mostly just seen his parents every other weekend when they drove up to visit. Now he saw them every. single. day.

It hardly mattered anymore though. Any sense of freedom he'd once possessed had been destroyed irreparably. For good.

Sora took his comment at face value though, his energetically eager tone and posture reappearing almost immediately. "Ah, okay. Well, I have choir practice to get to now. I'll see you tomorrow, Demyx. Peace." Ducking his head a little as he bowed out, the look of flushed anticipation wasn't lost on Demyx entirely; he was just more concerned with other things at the moment. With memories, specifically.

Not so long ago, Demyx and his friends had regularly exchanged a similar expression of farewell. It had been a pretty popular one, after all. Peace out.

Unbidden, an image of blue eyes, hiding under a tuft of naturally white-blond hair resurfaced in his mind, a tentative smile of acknowledgement as the farewell was returned. Two fingers raised up, forming a 'v'.

Demyx took in a shuddering breath. He was not going to cry in the middle of this school, God help him. He just really needed to get out of here right now. Really, really.

Heading back toward the administrative offices, Demyx ignored the other students who were milling toward the front door, toward buses waiting to take them home to families who loved them — assuming they ended up not having been born wrong, he thought, chest aching.

He couldn't deal with it, didn't want to be around other people right now as he waited for his ride. Following the brick walls of Holy Hearts Academy, Demyx made his way around the school, toward the pick-up area for students who'd been dropped off instead of having taken the bus.

There was a small underpass between buildings that seemed somewhat isolated. Demyx made his way toward it now, hoping for a bit of solitude.

What he got instead were the lean lines of a red-head, one leg bent and raised behind him to the wall, the other a support as he leaned back and took a long, practiced drag on a cigarette. A moment later, green eyes turned and, while the look on his face didn't change, the expression in his eyes turned hungrily appraising.

"Newbie." The word was an exhalation of grey tendrils curling upward, creating a hazy cover of smoke above them both. And that wasn't all. Axel's hair had been released from its tie. Now it spiked backward in its natural state. Unruly. Wild. Totally something to tangle fingers through during…

_Jesus Christ_. Demyx almost choked on his tongue at the sight.

"Uh, hi," he managed to get out in a somewhat level tone. Not suave, but at least he wasn't stammering or anything equally embarrassing.

The cigarette dropped to the ground between them, Axel's polished black shoe grinding the butt of it into the walkway in careless fashion.

"Is that," Demyx started, then paused, grappling for the right words. "I mean…are you supposed to be smoking on school grounds, man?"

Axel's eyes were still fixed on Demyx in a way that made his throat tighten, whether from discomfort or something decidedly more …sinful… he couldn't say.

Using his back as leverage, Axel pushed off the brick wall, and approached Demyx slowly, a deliberate strut to his step. Unconsciously, Demyx took a step backward, finding the school's exterior wall at his spine. And still Axel got ever closer.

He came to a stop next to Demyx, leaning the underside of his upper arm against the wall beside his new classmate's shoulder.

"What do you think?" Axel asked, his voice low. Green eyes watched him intently as Demyx inhaled the sweetly acrid smell of Axel's breath. His face was so close, Demyx realized he could see tiny pinpricks of holes dotting Axel's one visible ear. And a similar set under one side of his lips, indicating piercings that had been taken out.

Lord, have mercy. What was this kid doing?

What was _Demyx_ letting him do to him?

Apparently not expecting an answer, Axel breathed in deeply and Demyx found himself copying the action, taking in a sharp inhalation, a mixture of remnant cigarette smoke and crisp March air.

"You have Sora as a guide, I noticed." One side of Axel's mouth curled up into the beginnings of a smirk. "Feeling welcome yet?"

Everything Axel said seemed to mean something else, or at least imply it, even if he couldn't figure out what just yet. Demyx swallowed hard.

"Yeah. I mean, everyone's been really nice."

For a moment, Axel simply regarded him, expression uninterpretable. A moment later, he turned away slightly, pulling another cigarette from his pocket, eyes fixed on the small flame of his lighter with apparent appreciation as he lit up. "I'm sure they are," he said, his tone curiously flat before he seemed to catch himself and turned back to Demyx.

"Are you planning to add on band last period?" The question seemed to come out of nowhere, blunt and to the point.

Immediately his chest seemed to seize up, and Demyx was hardly able to suppress a sharp intake of breath as he froze in place.

What did Axel know? _How_ did Axel know it? If he'd been caught less by surprise, Demyx might've been able to salvage a bit of that neutral expression he'd been practicing all day in class.

"I…" He couldn't find the words, couldn't keep his expression even slightly collected in the face of inquisitive green eyes. _Knowing_ green eyes.

Band. Band was where he'd… where they had…

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the familiar silver of his father's Mercedes pull into the school's entrance.

"My ride," he managed to stammer out, almost stumbling over the beginning of his last sentence in an effort to be done with this conversation, these feelings. "I have to go."

And then he was running, practically fleeing from his new classmate, as he hurried to meet his dad. And then the forced smile was back, as he hopped into the passenger side of the car and prepared to lie outright about how his first day at this new school had gone.

So many lies, just to hide one little truth.

It was not until much later, after dinner was finished and his first batch of homework complete, that it occurred to Demyx to wonder how Axel had known he'd ever taken band in the first place.


	4. Chapter 4

By morning, Demyx still couldn't come up with an explanation for how Axel knew about his band history, or that he might have the option of adding it to his class schedule. The only thing that made sense was that someone in admissions had told Axel. Given how coldly his sister Kairi seemed to have responded to him during the brief time Demyx had seen the pair interact, he was guessing she wasn't the one who'd coughed up the information.

That left the administrators themselves, and the only reason they'd have to divulge information about band from his last school was…his parents trying to ensure something similar didn't happen again, that Demyx was staying true to his promise to pray for healing from those sinful desires.

Which meant Axel would be the person who was checking up on him. A veritable spy.

But was that it? Axel didn't exactly seem like the type to take orders without question. He did seem to know his Bible though. Demyx had to give him credit for that.

Or it could still be Sora. He'd be a more obvious choice, at least.

Or Demyx could just be tripping completely and his parents hadn't asked anyone to spy on him in any way. Maybe they were just trusting his word and monitoring him from home.

Man, why was this so hard to figure out?

Either way, he had no answers. But maybe — just maybe — if he played his cards right, he could get some.

Demyx met Sora at their shared row of lockers the next morning, although he initially hung back, simply observing before making his appearance known.

Riku was there, long silver hair pulled back neatly with a tie of some sort, khakis and oxford shirt crisp as ever. Sora was speaking in animated tones with his friend, although from where Demyx stood, he couldn't hear the topic of conversation. Unlike Riku, Sora seemed to have a perpetually less put-together appearance.

It wasn't that Sora wasn't wearing the required school uniform. Not that. His shirt was tucked in, pants neatly pressed. Instead, it was more that nothing seemed quite settled on the shorter boy. His hair, obviously combed through this morning, was already sticking up a little at the back, pants, though spotless, were an inch or two long and bunched at his feet. Demyx imagined they'd drag slightly and wear out faster as a result. It reminded him of the more lax attitude at his last school, although it was a small, insignificant comparison, Demyx told himself. Not anything that really mattered in the grand scheme of things.

This morning the pair had company, flanked by two blond haired students, one a boy, the other a petite girl. Their backs were facing Demyx though, not aware of him until he was only a few feet away and chose to speak up in greeting.

"Morning," he said, an easy smile on his face masking his continued unease. The two unidentified students turned, watching him curiously as he made his way to his locker, twisted the combo, and lifted the latch open.

"Morning," Sora repeated, his smile a lot more believable than during their conversation from the afternoon before. By his side, Riku merely nodded, apparently not deigning to speak.

"You're the new guy?" The blond boy, who looked surprisingly like Sora, spoke up, curiosity in his tone.

Demyx nodded, friendly smile still pasted dutifully on his face. "Yeah. I just started yesterday."

The blond returned the smile, if a bit tentatively.

It was Sora who leapt in to offer introductions. "These are my cousins, Roxas and Naminé. Pastor Strife is their dad, and my uncle."

"Cool," Demyx said, recognition lighting his features as he snatched a few needed textbooks and shoved them into his backpack. "I think I heard your name," he pointed to Roxas, "when I was in the admin office yesterday. Can't remember why now though."

By Roxas' side, the blonde girl giggled. Her brother's expression turned dark, however.

"Oh hush," Roxas muttered. "It wasn't funny."

Before he could think better of it, Demyx shut his locker door and fell into place beside Sora as they all headed toward their first class of the day. "What wasn't funny?" he asked.

"Nothing," Roxas said at the same time that Naminé overlapped with "Axel Albrecht stole his clothes."

Apparently this was news to Sora and Riku as well, for both slowed, Sora shooting his cousin a curious look while Riku remained ever stoic by his side.

At this early stage in a new school, Demyx didn't know what to make of the other students' reactions so, true to his usually carefree and open demeanor, he simply said the first thing that came to mind.

"Like, seriously? His clothes?"

Clapping her hands together a little, Naminé nodded, skipping a safe distance away from her brother as she took up a place next to Demyx's free side. "Yep," she almost sang. "Stole his clothes out of the locker room while Roxas was getting in an early practice for swim team. They turned up in the seat for his first class yesterday, all perfectly arranged."

"_Naminé_," the blond boy whined. "Not everyone needs to hear about this, you know."

At this point, Sora was hiding a smile and Demyx was biting his tongue a little to keep from snickering. It wasn't that creative of a prank, but at this school it seemed to take some balls to do anything against the rules. Apparently Axel had them in spades.

"Well, that'd explain why he had that detention slip while I was checking in yesterday morning," Demyx said, his tone contemplative.

"Yeah, except he apparently didn't show up for it." Roxas scowled a bit, looking down at his shoes as he walked. "His sister told me he has to do two days now, but I bet he'll get out of it. He gets out of everything."

That explained Axel's presence while he was waiting for his ride yesterday afternoon, Demyx supposed. It didn't explain why the red-head seemed to skirt administrative justice as much as Roxas claimed he did though.

Before he could ask Roxas what he meant, the boy and his sister disappeared into one of the classrooms to his right with a quiet farewell. Just not before Demyx saw Naminé shoot a cute but shy little smile his way.

_Oh man._

He, Sora, and Riku continued on in silence for a moment, their Calc classroom still a good couple of hallways away. It was Demyx who ultimately broke the silence.

"So, uh, this Axel guy. He'd a bit of a bada— troublemaker, I mean?"

Sora looked up, expression neutral, almost guarded again. "Yeah, a bit, you could say."

It seemed as though he was holding something back, although Demyx really couldn't figure out what. It didn't seem like Sora was going to come out with it on his own though, so he continued his questioning, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

"Well, why did Roxas think he wouldn't end up having to do detention? It sounds like he breaks a lot of rules, you know, with pranking your cousin and the long hair—"

"That's allowed, actually," Riku cut in, momentarily silencing Demyx who'd been taken by surprise. Riku didn't seem to be much of a talkative guy, from what he had thus far observed.

"He convinced the administration to allow boys to wear their hair long, since it's in the Bible," Sora piped up in agreement. "That's why Riku can keep his long too."

Demyx's gaze rested for a moment on the unique silver tresses of Sora's best friend. "Ah," he said. "Makes sense, I guess."

"The dye isn't technically allowed though," Riku spoke again, this time smirking. "That's the administration turning a blind eye for that one particular family."

Interesting. Now he was getting somewhere. Maybe.

"Why's that?" Demyx asked, again trying to make his voice curious but trying not to sound as invested in the question as he actually was.

Rounding the last corner to their Calc class, Sora shot him a guarded look that was beginning to be quite recognizable by now. "Well, it's not nice to gossip…"

"Probably a sin," Riku concurred.

"…But we assume it's just because his family donates a lot of money to the school each year."

"As in, we can now build a wing for the new library kind of money," Riku said.

"It's just a guess, though," Sora rushed hurriedly on as they entered Mr. Valentine's classroom. "Not something you should go spreading around, okay?"

_Duly noted,_ Demyx thought as he smiled and offered assurances that he wasn't the gossiping type. Still, even these answers came with their own set of new questions. Not that he was willing to admit it even to himself at the moment, but Demyx found himself definitely wanting to know more.

~ o ~ o ~

Back at home, dinner was just as forced and tense as ever. It was obvious his parents were still walking on eggshells around him, still not sure how to handle the news that had induced them to send their only child to an entirely new school so close to graduation and crack down on any freedoms he might have had there.

As Demyx picked at the lima beans on his plate, he tried to think positively. At least he hadn't run into Axel after school while waiting for his ride today. Granted, he'd specifically steered clear of the underpass between the two buildings where they'd encountered one another last time, but it's not like the school was that big. He could easily have run into him elsewhere, especially since there was only one real place to wait for your ride.

He didn't know what to think about Axel, how to deal with the information he'd gotten about his fellow classmate. By all accounts, Axel seemed like a rebel. But with a sister who volunteered in the administration office before classes started each morning, and a family that apparently could afford to build the entire school at least a couple times over, something just didn't seem to add up for Demyx. Maybe Axel outwardly appeared to be a rule-breaker, yeah. That didn't explain how he seemed to know Demyx had been into band at his last school. He would've needed administration records for that, or for Kairi to have willingly told him, which Demyx highly doubted would have happened — unless the rebel line was just a bit of a cover for spying, that is.

"Did you have a good day at school?" His mother broke into this thoughts, forcing Demyx back to the present, back to the fact that they hadn't had a normal conversation — or even dinner — in almost two months now. Always the peacemaker though, she was trying. Demyx didn't think his father had yet figured out how to deal with any of this, on the other hand, which meant he hadn't. It also meant that, while his mother chattered nervously whenever she managed to get her son to talk, his father kept quiet, expression stoic as he acted like the food, the television, _anything_ was more important or interesting than conversing with his son.

"Yeah, it was fine," Demyx responded. He'd always been more like his mother anyway when it came to difficult or tense times. A peacemaker.

Then, awkward silence settled over them again as they sat and pretended they weren't chewing their food twice as long as was needed before swallowing.

His mother tried again. "How are your classes going so far, sweetie? Keeping up?"

Demyx nodded. "Pretty much." And then, in an attempt to cut the awkwardness, he gave her something else. "We seem to be around where I left off at my last school, for the most part."

His mother beamed a little too brightly. At least she was trying though, Demyx thought again. It was his father who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here at the moment.

Was he so disgusted by his son now that he couldn't even look him in the eye, Demyx wondered. From their silent car rides home and these equally silent meals, it sure as heck seemed like it. It made him feel like crap.

"I do need to get online," he ventured, figuring now was as good a time as any to tell them.

Both parents looked up at this. "For a history assignment," Demyx supplied.

The internet was another so-called privilege that was off-limits to him for awhile. No internet, no car, nothing that could lead him back into sin, he'd been told. Punishment length: currently undetermined.

"Show me the assignment sheet, so I can look it over before approving." It was the first time his father had spoken all evening, and now it was Demyx's turn to be silent. His father intimidated him a little. What was worse, he was someone Demyx truly looked up to, so feeling that he'd let his dad down by his actions at his previous school stung more than Demyx wanted to admit.

Demyx nodded in response. In fact, he'd made sure to have the teacher write down the assignment and the length he'd need to spend online in order to complete it in anticipation of just such a situation. It didn't mean his father's reminder of his lack of freedom made him feel any better about it though.

He wondered how long this would last, how long until he was treated with a modicum of trust again. Or would it go on forever? He'd made one mistake, one he wasn't even sure was actually a real mistake, to be honest. Either way, actions of all sorts had consequences. Demyx was living his right now in the flesh.

They finished their dinner just as they'd started, in silence. Without being asked, Demyx cleared off his place setting, heading to the kitchen with it without speaking. For someone who'd once been relatively peppy in his interactions with others, Demyx found the silence stifling. He didn't know what to say though. More and more, he was also discovering he no longer wanted to try to think through what had once come so naturally to him.

He wasn't in the mood to fight either though, hadn't been for two months now. Instead, Demyx simply finished up with his dishes and hurried to dig out the assignment sheet from his history teacher. He handed it over to his father without a word and waited as the sandy-haired man who looked so much like an older version of him read it over.

_Look at me, Dad_, Demyx found himself thinking. _Look at me, and say something. I'm trying. Can't you see that? So why aren't you?_

When his father finally did look up, the man didn't meet his eyes, and Demyx felt his heart sink. "Thirty minutes then," was all his father said as he stood, not even seeing the disappointed expression on his son's face as Demyx nodded acquiescence.

Demyx followed his father upstairs and into his own room. His father waited as he turned on his desktop computer. It hadn't been on since he was at his last school, being completely useless without his family's Wi-Fi password, which had been promptly changed after The Incident. His parents didn't know much about computers or the internet, but they knew enough to be able to cut off his web access.

Now Demyx pulled up the Wi-Fi settings and stepped back, eyes averted as his father moved to block his view of the computer screen and typed in the password.

"I'll be back in thirty minutes to shut it off again," his father's tone went lower in warning. "Manage your time appropriately, because that's all you'll get."

At least his father had stopped warning him not to go to other sites outside of those that were approved, although it was still implied in his words. Demyx would've been surprised if his parents even knew what a browser history was, let alone that it was possible to delete it. Still, he wasn't planning on fucking up again. He hadn't needed the additional reminder.

"Yes sir," Demyx said, his voice polite. He'd always addressed his dad this way. After several years of military service before Demyx had been born, he knew it was the title his father preferred, despite the baffled reactions from some of his friends whenever they heard it. In fact, it was a wonder he hadn't been sent off to military school after what had happened, just like with…

Demyx forced his thoughts to a stop. He could be grateful that it had been the first time his mother had chosen to challenge his father's decision in recent memory and simply leave it at that. Thoughts of the alternative were too unpleasant to want to sit around thinking about for any length of time.

Sliding into the seat at his desk, Demyx launched a browser and, on a whim, typed in the URL for his email client. It wouldn't hurt just to check his email for a second.

There was nothing but spam mail in his inbox though, and a few two month old emails from friends, no doubt trying to get in touch and figure out what had actually happened. His old school was so much more lax than this one here, what he'd done wouldn't have been cause for expulsion. At most, they probably would've gotten detention. If only their fathers hadn't been old college buddies, if only they hadn't both been so furious…

A chatbox on the bottom right of his mail client popped up, revealing the first line of text from sparkyblonde12: DEMY. What the hell is up with you?

_Larxene_.

Demyx felt an uncomfortable stab of guilt at the realization that while he'd been wallowing in self-pity the last few months, his friends back at his old school probably didn't have much of a clue what had happened to him at all. It wasn't entirely his fault, since with his internet and cell privileges severely restricted he hadn't had any way to contact them anyway. It wasn't like he'd put any effort into trying either. Demyx figured he'd already been in enough trouble as it was, without potentially getting caught in another apparent act of rebellion trying to get back in touch with old friends.

Feeling like shit, Demyx x'ed the chatbox and logged out of his account. Now he needed a distraction more than anything, but with a 25 minute video clip to watch on YouTube, he really didn't have much time to do anything else.

He pulled the video up easily, grabbing a notebook and pen to take notes while he watched, still feeling crappy about not having even warned Larxene he couldn't talk right now.

Thoughts of Larxene brought up memories of other friends. Of _him_. Before he could stop himself, Demyx opened another browser window to YouTube and typed in his friend's username from memory. He had to dig through a page or so of newer video clips before he found the one he was looking for, but that took a matter of seconds.

Pulling the clip up, Demyx muted it directly, and paused it so he could fast-forward through to the point he wanted to see. He didn't have time to watch anything tonight aside from his history assignment, but that was fine. For now, he just wanted to look, afraid that watching the entire thing would undo him so completely his father would know something was up just from looking at him when he came in to shut off the internet connection 26 minutes from now.

At 1:36, Demyx stopped scrolling through the video and, for a solid 30 seconds, just stared.

Dyed slate-blue hair, covering all of one eye and most of his forehead. One blue eye looking toward the camera, a shy smile gracing thin, almost delicate, lips.

Demyx's mouth opened to form a word. A name, actually. But no sound issued forth. Slowly, he minimized the window, clicking and dragging it to the top left of his computer screen. Then it was back to the history assignment in the larger window and taking notes.

By the time his father returned to shut off his internet, the smaller window was gone, the browser history of its existence permanently deleted. But for 25 minutes, Demyx listened to the history video, took notes and, in the rare moments his hand wasn't moving and the video narrative slowed, his eyes turned upward, to the left. Memorizing details.

Remembering.


	5. Chapter 5

Demyx dreamt of _him_ again that night. It was the same dream as always, in the band room at their old school. No amount of praying seemed to be eradicating that particular memory from his thoughts, especially at night during his mind's helpless unconscious. Slate hair, blue eyes, the sweetest, most tentative smile Demyx had ever seen. His chest had never been so oddly tight than on that particular day, face had never felt so hot.

Every time he dreamt this, they talked about something different, although the topic was always mundane, just chit-chat as Demyx put away his sheet music and his companion dismantled his sax. Soon, they'd head to the back room where instruments were stored at the end of each day. Soon, everything would fall apart, and things would never be the same.

But while Demyx's subconscious was already ringing out its usual warning, Demyx himself was simply following the same pattern in his dream that he'd taken every night for the past two months.

Tonight's dream was different though, despite their actions being the same, for the person who appeared at the door and changed both lives forever was not the nearly elderly band instructor this time, but a tall, lean figure with knowing green eyes, hair aflame.

~ o ~ o ~

Demyx woke the next morning, head aching, neck stiff. Almost instinctively he knew he'd been dreaming. He only ever tossed and turned enough to give himself a headache after a bad dream. Given his current frame of mind, he supposed he should feel grateful that nothing was really coming back to him as he began to rise and prepare for the day.

He could guess what he'd dreamt about, but he'd just as soon crack his neck a few times, or stretch his arms over his head to pop his back, and be done with it. No good ever came from dreaming lately. They were all about the past and a certain guy he was pretty sure he'd never see again.

Demyx figured that in itself was telling. It was hard to dream about the future at all when you didn't truly think you were going to have much of one.

He was beginning to fall into a routine at school now, meeting up with Sora and inevitably Riku too by his locker, then walking to first period classes with them. Riku's class schedule differed slightly from Sora's, so he wasn't in all of their classes. Neither was Axel, although Demyx was glad for that. Some things about what he'd learned of the tall red-head just didn't add up in Demyx's mind.

Say you're a big bad-ass on campus, right? Which could be said about Axel, most definitely — so long as it wasn't said out loud in front of Sora or anyone else, at least, given swearing wasn't all that smiled upon at Holy Hearts. _Anyway_. People stayed away from you. Except the boarders, for Demyx soon learned from overhearing Roxas one afternoon that most of them were here due to disciplinary issues at other schools. Demyx supposed he should be grateful his parents hadn't gone that route. He'd boarded at his last school, no big deal, but if it meant the implication of delinquency here, he was glad to have been able to avoid it.

What else about Axel? There was the obvious: the facial tattoos, long spiked hair, and multiple piercings. There was also the ingrained: the devil-could-care attitude and the hot-and-cold attention he paid to Demyx.

That was one thing Demyx couldn't figure out at all. Sometimes Axel would pester him subtly, showing up out of the blue when he happened to be alone — and often distracted. Those times, Axel would lean in close, speak in low, almost sultry tones. He'd push the boundaries, make Demyx in equal turns as hot as he was bothered that Axel was doing it in the first place.

Other times, it was as though Demyx didn't exist at all. Axel would walk by without a passing glance.

When it came to other people, Axel seemed to have more consistent patterns. Axel always seemed to have a sarcastic jibe ready whenever Roxas was around, for one. The blond was easily flustered, and Axel seemed to know exactly what to do to get under his skin. Not once had Demyx seen them within a close proximity of one another without later hearing a cleverly placed comment on Axel's part, whether from someone else relating it back to him at a later point in time or in person himself when the words were actually exchanged.

What seemed strangest of all to Demyx though was Axel's decided lack of attention on Sora. It'd make sense, Demyx reasoned, that if Axel was going to pick on one member of the Strife family, he'd pick on all of them, Naminé perhaps excepted since she was a girl. Apart from hair color, Sora and Roxas looked very much alike as well.

Yet Axel pointedly ignored Sora whenever their paths happened to cross. Over the month that Demyx had been at Holy Hearts, he'd had time enough to observe that much, at least.

The only sense Demyx could make of it was assuming Axel simply didn't want to get into a physical altercation with Sora's best friend Riku. Those two were almost always together. While Sora might have been short in stature, Riku could probably match what little Axel made up for in height with sheer physical strength of his own.

Plus there was that utterly delightful personality that came along with it, Demyx thought wryly. It wasn't like Riku was exactly known for his cheery disposition.

Sora and Demyx had a class with Axel that Riku didn't, however. If anything, Demyx figured that would be prime time for Axel to slip in a comment. Sora didn't exactly strike him as someone who would go running to a teacher (or maybe even Riku, although Demyx honestly wasn't sure on that one) if someone said something inappropriate to him.

Still, Demyx had never seen Axel address Sora. In fact, quite the opposite, Axel seemed to make a point of not looking Sora's way at all.

In a way, Demyx sort of wished Naminé would take on the same approach toward him whenever they were around together.

No such luck though. Every opportunity she had, Naminé was right in his face.

As annoying as it was to Demyx, he also had to admit it was a bit endearing. A year younger than him, Naminé had a shy but sweet way of getting him to talk to her. It was also really nice of her to be so interested in the things Demyx was into. She'd managed to get him to talk about some of the stuff he was into, including guitar and other string instruments. That was something Demyx figured he'd never discuss at this school.

Maybe that was why he asked what he did one afternoon in mid-April. It certainly wasn't a result of attraction. As pretty as Naminé was, Demyx knew what he was deep down, and despite all the work he'd been doing with Pastor Leonhart during his mandated counseling sessions, he didn't seriously think it'd be something he could change. All he could do was keep quiet through high school, then later in the private Christian college he'd been accepted to. After that, he really couldn't say.

It was probably better not to think too far ahead, Demyx figured. It'd get far too terrifying otherwise.

Wednesdays were his weekly appointments with the pastor, and that meant being done after sixth period. It wasn't all that common for him to run into Naminé at this time of the day, but with Sora leaving early, citing illness, and Riku being his typically anti-social self, Demyx had taken a different route to the spiritual counseling office that day than he usually did.

Demyx saw Naminé first. She was at her locker with a few other girlfriends, listening intently as one spoke with exaggerated gestures.

He must've lost his mind at that point, because he wouldn't be able to justify his next actions even days later when he'd had more time to think through what he'd done.

One of Naminé's friends noticed his approach first. Curious eyes fixed on Demyx, she subtly nudged the white-blonde girl next to her. Naminé turned slowly, looking at Demyx with a mixture of surprise and maybe even embarrassment if the light flush of her cheeks was any indication.

"Hey," Demyx said, shouldering his bookbag a little higher on his right side with one hand as he nodded a little to acknowledge the other two girls Naminé was present with.

For her part, Naminé simply returned his greeting with a shy "hello" of her own, looking at Demyx through half-lidded eyes. On anyone else, it might've seemed demure. With Naminé, it just accentuated her pretty features and the soft spoken air Demyx always sensed around her.

If he'd been truly nervous about what was coming next, maybe the words wouldn't have come so easily.

The smile that appeared on his face was relaxed though as Demyx focused his attention entirely on Naminé.

"I was just wondering if you had plans for Prom yet," he said, noting the widening of her eyes as his words registered with her. When she didn't initially respond, Demyx continued.

"Sora gave me a bit of the low-down on how they do it here," he forged on, "about how junior and senior Proms are separate."

Naminé looked like she was in a bit of a daze at the moment, seemingly only capable of offering a small nod. Behind her, one of her friends stifled a giggle, which Demyx opted to ignore.

"I was just wondering if you might want to go with me," he said. "You know, just as friends so Roxas doesn't beat the crap out of me or whatever."

At this, Demyx was rewarded with his first genuine smile of the entire encounter. "Maybe I should've checked with him first, actually." He shot her a sheepish grin of his own, hoping that would counteract his potential faux pas.

Naminé was quick to cut in. "Oh, no. It's not a big deal," she shook her head definitively.

Demyx relaxed. "Cool," he said. "And I don't mind going to the junior Prom with you if you wanna do that one instead of the senior one," he added.

One of Naminé's friends, a girl with mousy brown hair and pretty features, stepped forward, placing an almost motherly hand on Naminé's shoulder. "Oh, she definitely wants to do the senior Prom with you, no question."

"Selphie!" Face flushing further, Naminé gently swatted her friend's hand away.

Demyx bit the inside of his cheek slightly to keep from chuckling.

"I would really like to go though," Naminé said, eyes still falling somewhere near Demyx's chin out of shyness. "With you, I mean…"

"Looks like we just made it a date then," he said, tipping an imaginary top hat in the girls' direction. "Very cool."

And with that, he bowed out, citing the need to get to his last period class of the day.

It wasn't until he'd added some distance between him and the girls that Demyx really dropped the light-hearted expression from his face. Part of him felt like he was breaking as he went over the exchange he'd just had. This wasn't who he was. This was deceptive. He was misleading Naminé deliberately to appear more normal himself. If sins could be measured by their relative doucheyness, Demyx figured his latest was halfway to China on a scale of little white lie to send you straight to hell.

_I hope you're happy, Dad_, he couldn't help but think as he made his way toward the spiritual counseling offices. _I'm doing this for you_.


	6. Chapter 6

The spiritual counseling offices had a dual purpose at Holy Hearts. In some instances, they were available by appointment for students who had specific issues they wanted to discuss with Head Pastor Strife or any of the other staff clergy. In others, they were there for students facing discipline to speak with an authority figure and try to work out any underlying issues to behavioral problems they were having problems with at the school. More often than not, this second type of mandatory appointment was reserved for the boarding students, the ones who'd been sent the Holy Hearts specifically as a form of disciplinary action.

Demyx fell somewhere in between the two groups, in his mind. If he'd had the option, he wouldn't have attended these meetings on a voluntary basis. At the same time, his type of delinquency — as he'd often heard it termed — wasn't violent in nature, hadn't physically hurt anyone else or destroyed school property. Even in justification for having to attend counseling sessions, he was an outsider. The irony wasn't lost on Demyx.

The counseling office consisted of your basic waiting room area, with a desk for secretary Aerith T. ("Because we're on a first name basis here in this safe space for students!") and a cushioned bench for students. Off to the right was a hallway that offered one route to a small, private chapel for prayer on your own or in small groups. To the left was a handful of labeled doors, an office for each school clergy member, as well as a gold placard identifying whose office belonged to whom.

Pastor Leonhart's office was the second on the left and Demyx was quite familiar with it by now. Although he'd never been inside any of the other offices, Demyx figured they were all pretty much the same. Pastor Leonhart's was relatively bare, with just a desk and two chairs facing it. Nothing but a crucifix adorned the walls, nothing but a fancy fountain pen, a pad of paper with a messianic fish and bread symbol printed on the corner, and a King James version of the Bible cluttered the desk.

And nothing but pointless, clipped conversation generally filled the 45 minutes a week Demyx spent in Pastor Leonhart's office.

They spoke about everything except what mattered. That was mostly Demyx's fault, because Leonhart had brought it up quite often. He just wasn't ready, or willing, or _whatever_ to talk about what really mattered, wasn't sure he ever would be.

Pastor Leonhart also wasn't exactly the most approachable person to take up God's calling. Stoic and not the most talkative type himself, he often had Demyx rambling on about completely inane topics, specifically to avoid the awkward silence that would otherwise permeate the session.

After four weeks of counseling, Demyx still couldn't say he was all that used to it, and the sessions didn't really seem to be doing much more than making him incredibly nervous and anxious to be done with them. Needless to say, they weren't the highlight of his week.

Demyx had every reason to believe this fifth session would be just as torturous as the last four.

Slipping in between the counseling office's glass doors, Demyx was greeted by the bright smile of Miss Aerith. As usual. He offered a small smile of his own before approaching, taking up a pen on the counter's edge, and signing the date, time, his name, and the staff member he'd be meeting with.

As always, Miss Aerith took the clipboard and looked it over carefully, as if she didn't already know why Demyx was here and who he had come to see. Maybe it was just habit for her, but for antsy, eager to leave school and get one step closer to finishing a predictably awkward dinner with his parents Demyx, her actions simply served to prolong the emotional discomfort that came with having to wait for the signal to enter Pastor Leonhart's office.

Looking up, Miss Aerith fixed Demyx with a sympathetic smile. "There's been a slight change of schedule this afternoon. I hope that's okay."

Demyx blinked, opened his mouth, then closed it, unsure what to say. He had the last slot of the day before school let out for the day. How could she possibly alter his meeting time? It wasn't like he had permission to skip seventh period study hall any other day of the week to do this, although he guessed it could be arranged.

"Pastor Leonhart had to leave early today. Family emergency, I'm afraid." The brunette woman's lips turned down into a subtle grimace. A moment later, the bright smile had returned. "Not to worry though. Pastor Strife has agreed to see you instead, just for the day."

Demyx nearly bit his tongue half off.

Pastor Strife? As in, the head clergyman at Holy Hearts?

No, wait. As in, the guy whose daughter he'd _just asked to Prom_?

Holy spit.

"I…is there…I mean, can't we just reschedule?" Demyx asked, trying to think quickly. Given the way Miss Aerith tilted her head as though trying to interpret a string of foreign words she was only marginally familiar with, it was probably a safe bet his suggestion wasn't going to fly.

It didn't.

Miss Aerith shook her head, mock-mournfully. "Unfortunately, your parents were very clear about your weekly appointments. You can't skip them without their permission."

"Then call them," Demyx blurted, but instantly regretted it. And have her say what? Your son is a whiny coward who doesn't deal well with change? Or being a good Christian, even. Yeah, that'd win him points with his dad, he bet.

The woman shook her head slightly, standing with an encouraging expression on her face. "It's understandable to be a little nervous meeting someone new for the first time," she recited with near Kairi-like roboticness. "You've gotten to know Pastor Leonhart and it can be scary to think about having to start over with someone else."

Demyx nodded dumbly. Yeah, that totally wasn't it. Actually, it was scarier to imagine turning a man of God away from righteousness by inciting him to _murder_ the dude who just asked his daughter out on a date.

He was being irrational, but he didn't care at the moment.

"Don't worry," Miss Aerith said again, circling out from behind her desk and taking him by one elbow to lead him to a waiting bench. "Pastor Strife has already been given your file and is ready to start just where Pastor Leonhart left off. You won't have to backtrack at all today."

Comforting, except not at all. Nevertheless, Demyx sat in the offered seat, resigned to his fate.

He didn't have to wait long before it was his turn to face the music.

Unlike with Pastor Leonhart, Miss Aerith didn't pick up a phone notification before leading Demyx into one of the nearby offices when it came time for his appointment. Pastor Strife came out to greet him directly.

Standing only a few inches taller than Demyx himself, Pastor Strife had the same white-blond hair and inquisitive blue eyes that made Roxas and Naminé stand out at school. While short in stature just like Roxas, Pastor Strife had considerably more muscle definition in his upper body. That much Demyx could tell, despite the long-sleeved business jacket the man was wearing this afternoon.

"Demyx, hello," the pastor said in greeting, walking up to Demyx with an understated confidence, hand outstretched.

Tentatively, Demyx stood and reached out to grasp the offered hand in what he hoped was a firm shake. "Hi." He couldn't think of anything else to say.

Luckily, he didn't need to. With a small smile, Holy Hearts' head clergyman beckoned Demyx to follow him and turned almost immediately in the direction of his office.

Pastor's Strife's office was the last door in a long row of religious staff rooms, and probably the largest, if Pastor Leonhart's office was a good example to compare it to. Unlike Leonhart, Pastor Strife had personalized his space. There were several framed Biblical verses lining his walls, as well as a set of diplomas, one listing where he'd been ordained and the other, much to Demyx's surprise, displaying a Bachelors degree from a state school. In Biology, if he read it correctly from as far away as he was.

Well, that was weird, to say the least. Didn't you have to, y'know, believe in stuff like evolution and dinosaurs to get a Biology degree from a secular university?

"Please, take a seat," Pastor Strife said, indicating an armchair in front of his desk. Demyx sat with a bit of a nervous nod, eyes wandering to a few framed photos on the man's desk. They were of his family, of Roxas and Naminé and a woman who was probably his wife. All smiling. And one of Roxas and Naminé making silly faces at the camera, eyes crossed.

Definitely not what Demyx had been expecting.

"I'm sorry for the abrupt change, but I'm afraid it couldn't be helped."

Demyx looked away from the images, straightening a little taller in his seat. His dad would've killed him for slouching if he'd been at home.

"It's, uh, okay," he said, trying to force the nervousness out of his tone.

"I did take some time to review Squall's notes on you though," the man said, pulling out the folder from a drawer in his desk.

_Awesome_. _This should be a fun forty-five minutes._ Demyx kept the thoughts to himself though.

Pastor Strife didn't open the folder. Instead, he looked up, expression soft in a way Demyx couldn't entirely interpret, or even keep his eyes trained on for more than a moment before having to look uncomfortably down. It was a scrutinizing look, albeit far from judgmental. Instead, the man seemed to be searching for something deep within Demyx, something Demyx wasn't sure he wanted anyone, let alone Pastor Strife, to see.

"Who is Ienzo Clarke to you, if I may ask?"

Demyx's head jerked up so suddenly, he couldn't tell if the shimmering stars at the edge of his vision were a result of low blood pressure or simply the emotional shock of hearing that name again after so long.

Not that name, actually, but one close enough that it still managed to have this kind of effect on him.

"He was…is a friend…of mine," Demyx stammered. The question had been so unexpected, he hadn't had time to formulate a lie or even clamp his mouth shut and refuse to answer.

Pastor Strife still held his gaze, unwavering. "I see."

He'd said the words so softly Demyx might actually have believed he'd heard compassion. Except that was impossible at a school like this. For a life like his.

"How long have you known him?"

Demyx wanted to balk, wanted to change the subject. He could talk about how he was doing in school. He could mention the potential friends he was making. But not his past. Not _him_.

Maybe it was the neutral, almost kind-hearted tone Pastor Strife spoke with. Maybe he just finally wanted to acknowledge what had happened in some small way. He couldn't be sure, but Demyx found himself responding anyway.

"We met in ninth grade when we were both new. He lived near the school so he was a day student. I boarded." His voice was quiet, sounded so small, and part of him was silently berating himself that he couldn't seem to even repeat the name. So weak. In spirit, in soul.

Leaning forward slightly, Pastor Strife offered a smile. "Being similarly unfamiliar with a new location is, I've noticed, a wonderful opportunity to make new friends."

Demyx swallowed hard, remembering. His hair had been white-blond, even lighter than Pastor Strife's. In ninth grade. Back then. Where Demyx had been outgoing, had quickly rounded up a group of like-minded people to befriend, he hadn't been, had shyly watched from the side, always carrying a book and rubbing its cover as though to assure himself he at least had one thing he could rely on.

There'd been something that had drawn Demyx to him instantly. To Ienzo. He'd honestly never figured out what though. Demyx had always been popular and extroverted, focused on his music and friends. Ienzo, on the other hand, preferred solitude, was interested in academics. About the only thing they had in common had been band, but that had been Demyx's passion more than anything.

In fact, really the only thing they truly had in common was that he and Ienzo were probably both…

"Gay," Demyx blurted recklessly, feeling his stomach drop like he'd just broke out over the highest crest of a roller-coaster. "I'm gay."

Pastor Strife didn't so much as flinch.

"And I've tried — _I've tried_ — to make it stop, or to fix it," Demyx continued, his voice raising in tone with his own unconscious desperation. "I've prayed! A lot, actually."

Still nothing other than a slight nod on the pastor's part. Demyx felt sick, but in a way he was also furious that the man across from him wasn't responding, wasn't condemning him, wasn't saying anything at all.

He wanted a reaction. He wanted some frickin' assurance that he could be fixed, actually. But right now a reaction would do just fine, even if it was a negative one.

"I've prayed," he repeated, fixing his gaze very deliberately as he leaned forward. Blue eyes looked back at him without a word. "And I've tried doing what my parents say and liking girls, and nothing works. I even asked your daughter to the dance. Like that's gonna change anything." His last words were spoken in a frustrated scoff as he stole a glance back in the pastor's direction.

This time, Pastor Strife blinked, genuine surprise registering on his face. "My daughter?"

Well, he'd wanted a reaction. Considering what he'd just said, Demyx was mildly shocked it hadn't been more dramatic. "Yeah, sorry," he muttered, dropping his gaze for the first time since he'd started his outburst.

A light chuckle met his ears. "I wasn't expecting that one, actually."

_But he'd been expecting the rest?!_

Lord Almighty. Weirdest. Pastor. Ever.

Pastor Strife leaned forward, resting his weight on his elbows over the desk.

"Look, Demyx. I'm aware of why your parents transferred you to Holy Hearts. It's not my job to judge you, or them."

Demyx looked up, expression wary. This had to be a first. Everyone else seemed to take pleasure in judging him, no matter how sorry he was about what had happened.

"I also know this school's stance on homosexuality," Pastor Strife continued. "And sometimes I do think it's fair to say some people are misled down that path or simply confused about their attractions."

Demyx nodded, heat flushing his neck a bit. It wasn't like he hadn't heard that one before.

"What I also know is that some people go their entire lives feeling a certain way and, as feeling creatures, they act on their urges. Some of them even have families and become good parents." Pastor Strife sighed, pausing a moment as though searching for the right words. "And some of those children grow up well-adjusted, intelligent, and faithful in the Lord's word. I find it difficult to condemn parents who raise children like that."

"Even if they're blatantly sinning?" Demyx retorted. Even with the chance that his earnest, open responses were ultimately going to get him in trouble, it felt like such a relief to finally speak unguardedly with someone that he felt it almost might be worth it.

Pastor Strife remained silent for a moment, simply regarding him. When he did speak, his voice had returned to a calm, reflective tone. "Everyone sins, Demyx."

"I know that," Demyx snapped. "But mine's somehow worse. Everyone keeps telling me."

Again, nothing. No outward reaction from the man across from him. Just that gentle, maddeningly calm look in his eyes.

"You know, a popular secular school of thought is that sexual orientation is inborn, not simply behavior someone chooses to engage in."

"Yeah, well tell that to my parents," Demyx said, finding himself rounding his shoulders a bit, hands falling between his legs. To heck with no slouching. Today seemed like as good a day as any other to start disregarding his father's pointless rules.

"I'm not saying it is," Pastor Strife said. "I just think that God doesn't give his children more than they can handle. Some people are offered more challenges in life than others, and fellow Christians should not only be aware of this but compassionate about it."

As Demyx sighed, the pastor sat upright and slid Demyx's records folder off his desk and into the crook of one arm. Demyx found himself watching carefully, fully aware that Pastor Strife hadn't cracked it open to consult even once yet.

He didn't open it now either.

"Do you strive to be a good Christian, Demyx?"

The question caught him a little off-guard, mouth half open and wholly unsure what to say for a long moment. This seemed to be a trend when it came to Pastor Strife. Was this a trick question or something?

"Well, yeah," he replied slowly. "But I'm obviously not doing a very good job if I have to come here once a week."

The pastor smiled. "Being a Christian is a lifelong journey, I've found. We do the best we can with the time we're given," he continued. "As long as you're aware of your faults, whatever they may be, I believe you're on the right track."

Pastor Strife's gaze shifted slightly to the left, to a small ornate clock on his desk. "I'm afraid our time is up for today. It's been a pleasure meeting you and getting to speak to you though."

Rising, Demyx found himself speaking — yet _again_ — before he'd entirely thought through his words. "Can I come talk to you again?"

The pastor looked at him, expression open but brows furrowed slightly.

"Nothing against Pastor Leonhart," Demyx forged on, "but…I want to talk more about…this kind of stuff…if that's okay."

With a slight nod, Pastor Strife opened Demyx's file for the first time that afternoon and reached for a pen with his free hand. "I'll make a note and see what can be done with Aerith up front," he said.

"Cool." For real, actually. With a small smile, Demyx turned to go.

"One more thing, Demyx," Pastor Strife called.

Hand on the door knob, Demyx turned back and took in the first truly big smile he'd seen the pastor offer up today.

"I do hope you and Naminé have fun at that dance, but make sure she's home by eleven, please?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N**: Oh Lord (heh), I'm back. After a three year hiatus. Sorry about that. Fun fact: I was just writing what came to me for this story three years ago, meaning I had zero idea where this story was heading or how it would end (beyond trying to make it align with the prompt I was originally given in some recognizable way). That makes it fun now, three years removed and with no outline to speak of, trying to figure out how to wrap this all up. At any rate, I'm going to try my darnedest. Hope you enjoy the ride.

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><p>"A little closer together now, everyone. And arm around her waist, Demyx."<p>

Cautiously, Demyx slid his hand behind Naminé's back, as instructed. His date for the evening turned slightly to look up at him, a shy but excited expression gracing her delicate features.

"OK, great. Eyes on me now, everyone, please," said the woman.

Demyx jerked his head forward, staring directly into the lens of the camera Sora's mom was holding in front of their group.

"Now, say cheese!"

The only one who actually followed the directive was Kairi, elongating the one syllable word into two, the first part bright and enthusiastic. The second was less giddy, probably after she realized no one else had opted to say it along with her. Out of the corner of his eye, Demyx saw Sora stifle a giggle by biting his lower lip. He could also hear Riku's date, hidden from his line of sight behind the boy's broad-shouldered frame. Selphie was tittering quietly too.

Other women approached Sora's mom, crowding around her with their cameras, all eager to get into prime position to take pictures of their sons and daughters in full-out formal attire. The dads stood back, letting the women do their fussing and cooing, while they chatted and watched the spectacle from a safe distance. Demyx noted with particular trepidation the fact that his father and Pastor Strife seemed to be talking alone, a little off to the side from the rest of the dads.

"Honey," Demyx's mother called, running up to him from one side. "Your boutonniere is a little crooked."

His mom looked so delighted to be participating in the pre-dance gathering, Demyx swallowed a protest (and, okay, a teeny bit of his pride) and let her fix the snow white flower pinned to his suit coat. It perfectly matched Naminé's dress; simple in design and presentation, the fabric reflected the fading afternoon light off its glossy, white sheen. She really did look radiant in it.

"There," his mom said, voice satisfied as she took a step back and surveyed her work. "Much better."

"Er, thanks, Mom," Demyx said, stealing a quick glance over at his father and Pastor Strife, mind rapid-firing through all the possible topics those two could be discussing with such familiarity. Sure, he was taking the pastor's daughter to Prom, so it'd make sense for them to play nice and get to know one another. But Pastor Strife was also privy to some considerably private information Demyx had been sharing in their weekly meet-ups. He'd already been assured that the meetings were confidential …but what if that was just what they wanted him to think?

Then he'd be utterly screwed, actually, that's what, and probably grounded until he was ancient. Like, at least 'til age 30.

The cameras started clicking again, like little, muted bursts of gunfire. Demyx forced a smile back on his face. If guns killed people, the shuttered clicks of camera lenses preserved them in perpetuity, recording a single moment as if declaring it an immutable truth. For Demyx, the contrasts between the two forms of assault, though stark, made very little difference. Years from now, he'd be reminded of how disingenuous his smiles had been in each still frame, how incomplete and concealed his truth. Short of maybe breaking into his parents' home years from now and destroying the evidence, it'd always remain there, maybe above the mantle or in a frame on a wall, a testament both to his deception and his parents' persistent blindness when it came to their only son.

"Is Axel not coming, or…?" The question was asked out of the side of his mouth, aimed at Sora standing-slash-fidgeting next to him.

It ended up being Roxas who responded.

"Who cares?" The words were hissed in such a way that Demyx couldn't help but think that Roxas might, in fact, care quite a lot, at least in terms of his increased ability to avoid the red-head for the duration of the night if he were aware of Axel's whereabouts.

Sora's mother began picking off members of their group in pairs for the individual date photos, choosing Riku and Selphie first, while instructing the others to move to another part of the lawn.

"Why do you want to know about Axel?" Sora asked, playing with his boutonniere between two fingers, seemingly unable to keep still in some way for more than a matter a seconds.

Demyx shrugged. "I just figured since all the parents were here they'd, y'know, wanna take a picture with him and his date too."

Roxas scoffed. "Like he has one. What kind of girl would want to go out with a jerk like him?" The words seemed so pointed, so tinged with derision, that Demyx thought it best not to reply. His thoughts, however, completely countered that assertion before he could stifle them. Pretty sure he knew at least one …person… who wouldn't mind at least giving a date with Axel a try.

That was only if his classmate wasn't completely trying to sell him out to his parents though.

"Axel actually does have a date."

The voice was quiet, subdued, but Demyx homed in on the words like a hawk, turning toward the source: Kairi.

Sora stopped fiddling with his boutonniere and shot Kairi an incredulous look. "Seriously?"

Returning from his photo session, with Selphie close behind, Riku raised an eyebrow, apparently having heard the tail end of Kairi's comment. It was the only minor indication the information held any interest for him.

Kairi nodded with a matter of fact expression. "That's what he said to Mom and Daddy anyway. He had to get official Academy permission since it's someone from a different school."

"It'd figure they'd give _him_ special privileges," Roxas said, mouth forming a small, tight scowl. By his side, his own date lightly elbowed him, her short dark hair swaying gently with the movement as she shot a pointed look Kairi's way.

"No offense," Roxas muttered, glancing at Kairi before leveling his glare squarely on a patch of grass in front of him. "Sorry."

"Do you know who he's taking, Kairi?" Selphie's expression was much more eager, interested. Demyx didn't know her very well, but considering how many Holy Hearts girls liked to gossip, especially about a certain rule-skirting red-head, he probably had a good idea why she wanted to know.

Kairi shrugged. "No clue. It's not like he ever shares anything with me anyway."

"Demyx! Naminé!" called Sora's mother. "Your turn for the couples photos."

Dutifully, Demyx offered Naminé a smile, extending his arm for her in over-exaggerated chivalry. The gesture seemed to delight the younger blonde though. With a smile, she slid her slender arm into the crook of his elbow before allowing herself to be led toward the waiting parents.

The women flocked around them both, although Demyx couldn't help but find himself looking back over to the fathers gathered nearer the Strifes' porch, curious if the pastor was still engaged in discussion with his father.

The pair was closer to the other dads now. Before Demyx had a chance to form new worries, Pastor Strife looked up, as if sensing adolescent eyes on him. For a moment, they just looked at one another, Demyx's shoulders tensing with the worry he was trying to conceal. As usual, the pastor seemed calm, leveling his gaze with a warm but otherwise uninterpretable expression. A split second later, he offered Demyx a smile, which Demyx might have returned if not for the fact that his father chose that exact moment to look his way as well.

Father and son locked eyes. Whatever feeling of acceptance Demyx had felt conveyed in the pastor's expression dissolved in the face of his father's more severe look. This expression wasn't exactly unusual for his dad. As a military man, he had been trained to control every aspect of his posture, including facial features. But it felt autocratic to Demyx, the way a sovereign might survey a subject, an unequal relationship in every possible way.

A flash of yellow-blonde hair caught his eye, and Demyx turned just in time to see a petite woman step in front of him. Easily recognizable from the photo on Pastor Strife's desk at school, Demyx felt his stomach roil a little as Roxas and Naminé's mother stood before him.

He needn't have worried, for she offered him a bright smile almost immediately. "Demyx, so nice to finally meet you," the woman said.

Demyx nodded in acknowledgement and tried to smile back, preparing himself to offer her a polite salutation as he raised his hand to shake hers. Mrs. Strife ignored the gesture entirely, instead leaning forward to envelop him in a friendly hug. "Naminé's told me so much about you, I already feel like I know you so well."

Swallowing hard, Demyx forced himself to play along, to be the charming date Naminé seemed to be so enamored with. "Only good things, hopefully."

Mrs. Strife laughed, a delicate, melodic sound. "Only good things, yes," she affirmed. "I hope you two have fun tonight. I know how much Naminé has been looking forward to this. She was so excited when you asked her."

"_Mom_!" Naminé's cheeks flushed with rosy color, and Demyx felt the first genuine smile of the day tug at the corners of his mouth at her self-conscious reaction.

"Well, I was excited when she accepted."

Okay, so that part wasn't quite so genuine. Sure, he'd been happy that Naminé wanted to go with him, just not in the way he figured most guys would be. Under the circumstances though, it was the best he could come up with on short notice.

As their couples photo session began in earnest, Demyx found the knot in his chest begin to twist, then tighten, the longer he held his smile. And, as the next couple got called up, Demyx found what little lightness he'd had in his step to begin with start to dissipate, replaced with a feeling of heavy resignation. This wasn't fair, not to him, yeah maybe, but definitely not to Naminé, even if he had been pretty clear he just wanted to go as friends.

This entire situation just sucked on the whole.

They passed Roxas and Xion on the way back to their group, but Demyx hardly noticed, so lost in his own feelings of angsty misery. Because, honestly, there wasn't ever going to be a way out of this, he thought. He couldn't just escape and be himself when he got to college. It would be a similar, religious environment like he was in now, after all. And then, what? Did he just think he could find a boyfriend at a religious institution of higher education, be open about his relationship like opposite-sex couples could be and…have a family, maybe, one day?

Yeah, that so didn't seem likely, at least without some serious familial repercussions. As much as he didn't want to keep on pretending, Demyx also didn't want to find himself disowned or ostracized from the only community he'd ever known.

"…school's Prom today too?" Naminé posed the inquiry with a soft voice, but the effect of being pulled from his dark thoughts was still thoroughly jarring to Demyx.

"Sorry, what?" he asked, having only caught the last half of her question.

Tugging on his arm a little, halfway between the individual photo shoot area and the area where the remaining members of their group had parked themselves, Naminé slowed to a halt, looking up at Demyx shyly, curiously.

"Your last school. Are they having Prom today too?"

"I, er, don't know actually," Demyx said. He hadn't thought to check.

"Oh." Naminé tilted her head to one side as if she was considering asking something else but unsure if she should.

"What is it?" Demyx asked, although he wasn't sure if he wanted to know what she was thinking. Every question posed a potential threat of revealing himself in a way that would unseat every social connection at this school that he'd been working so diligently to nurture these past few weeks.

"I was just …" Naminé hesitated, as if thinking through her words. "Do you miss your friends? The ones from your last school, I mean."

Guiltily, Demyx remembered the times Larxene had tried to ping him online. He hadn't responded to any of her messages, still unsure how much he should admit to, even in confidence to a close friend. It could hardly hurt now that the one he wanted to protect most had already been sent away to military school for the rest of the year. Yet he'd never been able to figure out how to respond to her, so he kinda sorta just ...hadn't. It was as if doing so would make the entire situation realer than it already was for him, or make him relive all the feelings of embarrassment and isolation he'd experienced after everything had hit the fan, maybe. In either case, he'd wanted to just look forward.

"Yeah, I miss them," he said finally. "But I've been meeting some really cool people here too." He flashed her a bright smile, which Naminé hesitantly returned, like she was still thinking something through, before her eyes fluttered down again, in modest timidity.

"C'mon," Demyx said, pulling her forward to ultimately rejoin their group.

"I've only lived here," Naminé admitted, as though trying to explain the reasoning behind her questions while she allowed herself to be led forward. "And I've known everyone since kindergarten. We've all gone to the same school together since we were kids."

Demyx nodded distractedly, but kept walking.

"Well, almost," Naminé said. "Not Sora. He started at Holy Hearts last year."

Demyx stopped so abruptly, Naminé nearly ran into him. She let out a soft sound of surprise, but Demyx hardly heard it.

Being cousins, why on Earth wouldn't Sora have also gone to the same school as her and Roxas and the others, from the get-go? That seemed a little …weird. Plus, he and Riku seemed super close, so Demyx had just assumed they'd been classmates for awhile.

Recovering a little, Demyx offered her an apologetic look, then started walking again.

"Did he move from somewhere else or something?" He tried to keep his voice casual, uninvested.

"Nope," Naminé said brightly, apparently not recognizing Demyx's sudden interest as anything beyond polite conversation. "He's always lived down the street from us."

Opening his mouth to interrogate her further, Demyx shut it just as quickly when they arrived at their destination. Kairi and Selphie were chatting animatedly. Something about designer shoe brands. Or hairstyling products, maybe. Their froofy names all sounded the same to him. Sora was still a ball of energy, rocking from his heels to the toes of his feet as he eyed the happenings across the lawn. And Riku was still looking coolly distanced from the happenings taking place around him. No real surprise there.

As usual of late, Axel was still nowhere to be seen, although Demyx expected he'd probably be running into him at the dance later tonight. He'd also probably be trying not to ogle the red-head in formalwear, considering it was already difficult enough for him to keep his mind off imagining the red-head's lithely muscled figure in a well-fitting suit when he wasn't even present. (_Lord, have mercy for that particular line of thoughts._) And his parents were getting to know the others, probably chatting about him now, keeping up appearances, ensuring he didn't misstep his way straight into military school himself through any of his inadvertent actions.

And Demyx? Demyx was looking from Sora to Riku, then at all three of their dates, wondering why nothing ever really ended up being as straightforward as it initially seemed.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: I finished my other fic, Bereaved. OMG, I'm so happy about that. It took so much out of me emotionally that I'm actually looking forward to getting back into lighter fare (if you can call a kid struggling to own his identity in a conservative, unaccepting environment 'lighter fare'...um). If you have any idea what's going on in this chapter, kudos to you, and I'd be interested to know your theories. Either way, hope you enjoy.

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><p>It was official, Demyx thought, as he narrowly avoided crushing Naminé's delicate feet for, approximately, the seventh time that evening: He was a much better musician than he was dancer.<p>

Not that it took much effort since he was terrible at dancing, but hey.

Thankfully, mercifully, Naminé was nothing if not a gracious dance partner, merely giggling and waving off his apologies every time he lost his rhythm or threw her slightly off-balance.

It wasn't like anyone else was super adept at it either, at least. So far, the dance itself had consisted of the awkward shuffling of teenage masses with no real sense of innate rhythm. Dancing with Naminé hadn't been bad, by any means, and Demyx was surprised to find himself actually enjoying the time he was spending with her as the evening wore on.

The venue that had been chosen for Holy Hearts' Senior Prom involved a trek into Twilight Town's financial district, an area Demyx had never visited before. The chosen hotel was extravagant but tasteful in its decor, with a grand foyer that made the Prom-going group feel as though they were entering another, more adult world.

If not for Sora's predictable bounciness, Demyx could almost believe high school was already done with, that he was past the worst of his teenage years and had an entire adulthood to look forward to.

Until the girls started doing that thing that girls inevitably did when they were in groups, making sounds Demyx was half-convinced only he and a select few other members of the animal kingdom could appreciate in its ear-splittingly high pitch. That brought him straight back to the realization that, however quickly graduation was approaching, high school was most certainly not over and done with yet.

They'd eaten their catered dinner quickly, the girls chattering away with giddy enthusiam between themselves, occasionally turning to their dates for a word or two of input. The boys had been far quieter, more focused on their food than anything. Except talkative, chattering Sora. Some things never changed.

Now Demyx and Naminé were dancing near others in their original group, next to Sora and Kairi, Roxas and Xion. Even Riku had dropped his dour expression in favor of something more appropriately neutral as he spoke quietly with a visibly bouncy Selphie during some of the slower songs.

"It really is too bad you're not a junior," Naminé said, during a quiet lull in music. Demyx looked at her inquiringly, but kept the pace of the slow rhythm he'd set during the last song. Naminé's small arms flexed and readjusted around the back of his neck for a brief moment before settling into place.

"Why is that?" Demyx finally asked.

"I just mean, we're all just getting to know you, and you'll be going off to college soon," she explained, looking away shyly for a moment, before glancing back up at him.

Demyx nodded, expression contemplative. He was surprised to find that, in some respects, he agreed with the sentiment. He had no wish to be in high school any longer than he actually needed to be, but it _would_ be nice to get more settled in, maybe even reinforce the tentative friendships he'd just started making.

And, you know, figure out what the crap the deal was with Axel. That too.

"I'm going to St. Bastion's this Fall with everyone else though," he said. "It probably won't be that different from high school." Not that the realization really put him that much at ease, under the circumstances, but Naminé obviously didn't know that. "Except maybe the harder homework."

Naminé nodded, but didn't seem particularly comforted by the assertion.

"You could always come visit too," Demyx said, forcing himself to make his voice sound upbeat.

At this, Naminé did smile. "Oh, definitely. We're planning to help Roxas move into the dorms and visit on some weekends. It's only a couple hour's drive away."

Oh, right. Roxas would be attending St. Bastion's. Demyx had actually been thinking about Sora and Riku when he'd mentioned the others who were going off to the same school as him in the Fall. But, of course, Roxas had been accepted to the same private Christian college too. With relatively different class schedules, Roxas' overt standoffish-ness and seemingly stony personality, Demyx hadn't really gotten a chance to get to know Naminé's brother all that well. He was personally more interested in asking Naminé about Sora's strange schooling situation again than talking about Roxas, but there hadn't yet been a logical way to bring it up that sounded like it naturally derived from their current line of conversation. If he switched the topic back to Sora now, it'd seem super random, one, and, two, he'd probably come off sounding weirdly obsessed about her cousin to boot. So that was a total no-go at the moment.

And he still hadn't seen any sign of Axel at the dance. Not during dinner. Not now on the dance floor as the last strains of the latest slow song were beginning to fade out and a much more upbeat one started to take its place.

Vaguely, he heard Sora nearby mention something about taking a bathroom break.

That didn't sound like a half-bad idea at this point. Gently, Demyx untangled himself from Naminé's arms. "I'll be right back too," he said, indicating the direction of the restrooms with a nod of his head. "You'll be okay while I'm gone?"

Kairi had appeared by their side, smiling brightly as she took hold of one of Naminé's hands. "We'll be fine. We can dance together until you guys get back. Or get more drinks." Naminé affirmed the sentiment with a slight nod of her own.

"Cool," Demyx said, offering both girls a friendly smile before turning on his heel and heading in the direction of the bathrooms. As he walked, he ran a hand distractedly through his hair, noting the rigid feel of the product he'd put in it earlier to keep it appropriately in place. It felt brittle, kind of restrictive, a metaphor for his life at the moment, he thought, despite knowing it was a pretty melodramatic analogy. And that he was comparing the current state of his hair to his life overall.

At least he wasn't planning on being a writer, because he'd unequivocally blow at it, Demyx figured.

Making his way off the dance floor, Demyx weaved his way through the crush of formal attire and nearly tangible cloud of hairspray on his way toward the restrooms in one corner of the large convention area-turned-senior-dance-hall. He caught up with Sora right at the door to the men's room, and both boys ducked in together, one after the other.

They were the only ones in the restroom initially, and it took a moment to adjust to the relative quiet of the space, particularly in comparison to what they'd just wandered in from.

Sora ducked into the sole stall, leaving Demyx alone to do his business, then wash up. Once done, he turned toward the door, intending to give his classmate a little additional privacy.

A few paces away away from the door, it opened, revealing platinum blond hair and bright blue eyes. Roxas.

Demyx nodded slightly to acknowledge his fellow senior, before turning back to call to Sora. "Meet you outside, man. I'm headed out."

"Okay," came the meek reply.

Beside him, Roxas froze.

"Sora's in here?" His voice was shrill. Sharp.

"Er…yes?" Demyx quirked his head and shot a confused look Roxas' way, not really sure why it mattered. "We came in together. Kinda both needed a break from the girls, y'know?"

As if on cue, the toilet flushed from within the stall. Demyx wasn't sure Sora had even used it, given how quiet he'd been.

Emerging from the stall with more hesitancy than Demyx had ever seen his classmate display before, he noted the quick glance Sora shot between the pair of them before making his way over to the sink. At his side, Demyx saw Roxas' jaw clench, then release in tandem.

"You really shouldn't be in here," the blond said, his words directed at his cousin.

For his part, Demyx remained silent, bewilderment etched pretty plainly across his face.

Sora too kept quiet, turning on the water faucet and sliding his hands under its steady flow, apparently trying his best to ignore his cousin's comment.

Roxas took a step toward Sora, crossing his arms over his chest in the process. It wasn't exactly a threatening stance, Demyx noted, but it certainly wasn't welcoming either.

"Leave it, Roxas. Please." Sora's words were spoken so quietly Demyx almost missed them.

"Seriously, Sora," Roxas said instead. "You know what the administration decided about single stall restrooms."

Demyx was so confused, he only half registered the sound of the door swinging open once more.

Single _what-the-crap_? The two boys were clearly speaking English, but they could've been chatting in Swahili for all the good their veiled words were doing in terms of Demyx's own ability to understand what was taking place at the moment.

"Have you _seen_ any single stall bathrooms in this establishment?" The voice was deep, drawling, and even though Demyx hadn't seen the newcomer, he knew immediately who had just entered from the involuntary heat that was creeping its way from his neck up into his face.

Facing more sideways, Roxas had gotten an immediate look at the speaker. His expression quickly darkened.

"What do _you_ want?" He shot at Axel. Nearby, Sora's eyes became two huge orbs of fearful surprise.

Slowly, as subtly as possible, Demyx turned, catching a glimpse of red, red hair and a dark suit that under other circumstances would've made his mind drift completely elsewhere off the topic at hand. Sora's expression grounded him though, kept him tense and on edge while he quickly tried to work out what the absolute frack was going on.

"I just entered a bathroom," Axel responded smoothly, apparently nonplussed by Roxas' furious look. "What do you think I came in here to do?"

"We're having a private family discussion," Roxas snapped. "Get out. You can come back later."

For the first time throughout the encounter, Axel's gaze slid past Roxas, over Sora, and landed squarely on Demyx. "A _family_ discussion," Axel repeated, looking Demyx up and down before turning back to Roxas, eyebrows raised skeptically. This time, Demyx didn't need a translator. Axel's point was crystal clear.

…Unlike everything else he'd just witnessed.

"I can leave," Demyx said, hands held up as a small peace offering.

"No," Axel replied, his voice firm. "You can stay, as can Sora. This is a men's room, after all."

Roxas' face was fast turning an impressive shade of pink. He jabbed an angry, accusing finger his cousin's way. "Sora is _not _supposed t—"

"Shut up!" Sora's voice pierced the room, frantic, panicked. From Demyx's vantage point, he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Just…please, just leave me alone." The brunet made a clumsy swipe at his face, the movement seemingly preemptive before any tears actually could escape out of the corners of his eyes. He looked lost, confused. Maybe a little embarrassed. And although Demyx was still at a loss to understand exactly why his classmate's expression seemed so despondent — and why Roxas was displaying such hostility to his cousin's mere presence at the moment, _come to freaking think of it_ — Demyx just wanted to pull Sora into a hug. If only it wouldn't be taken the totally wrong way. After all, it wasn't that long ago that someone else he cared about deeply had needed a shoulder to cry on, had been denied just that due to circumstances completely out of his control. He'd always hated seeing anyone upset, friends especially, even if they were of the newer variety.

Before any of them could say another word though, Sora had pushed past all three, rushing back out onto the dance floor, the door buffering the outside music with its every swish back and forth.

Roxas looked between the remaining two boys as if trying to decide his next move. Out of the corner of his eye, Demyx noticed Axel's brows rise again, green eyes flashing as if offering the blond a challenge. With a frustrated huff and a considerably pissed off glare, Roxas shoved past the red-head and back out into the main room.

...And then there were two.

For a moment, the pair of high school seniors stood in silence, Axel with his typically unconcerned stance, Demyx shifting weight between his feet, a sure sign of discomfort.

Eventually, it seemed clear that if he wanted to get anywhere, he was going to have to be the one to initiate the conversation with Axel.

"I feel like I missed something here," he said, trying to keep his voice light, nonchalant. "I don't suppose you'd care to clue me in?"

Sliding long, slender fingers through his slicked back hair, Axel sighed, the exhalation an impatient rush of air between pursed lips. "You suppose correctly then." His words were terse. If this was Axel angry, it was a subtle thing, standing in stark contrast to Roxas' outright fury of a few moments prior.

"Well," Demyx said, not realizing he'd just copied Axel's hand gesture through his own hair until after it was too late to stop the motion, "I want to say it's none of my business, but considering I was just doing my, er, business when it all blew up in my face, I kind of feel like I ended up involved by default."

Axel's eyes flicked back toward the bathroom's exit, although he remained obstinately silent. Demyx noted a hint of restlessness in the action.

Not wanting to let his classmate off that easily, Demyx stepped back into Axel's line of sight. This time it was his turn to raise his eyebrows challengingly.

"I mean, you know what I'm saying here?"

Curtly, Axel nodded, the clenching of his jaw just slightly perceptible before he relaxed it back into its usual position. For a moment, Axel looked hesitant. The expression was just a momentary flicker of doubt though, one that was replaced with a more familiar appearance of confident indifference so quickly that Demyx would later question whether he'd even seen the initial emotion in the first place at all.

Mirroring Demyx's movement and stepping forward, Axel returned Demyx's gaze and leaned in, so close to Demyx's face that the sandy blond could feel his classmate's hot breath against his ear when Axel next spoke in alluring, low tones, once again eliciting that increasingly familiar feeling of fluttering nerves.

"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips."

Demyx jerked back, then blinked, confused by the odd words. Axel met his gaze with a level one of his own.

"Ask Sora if you really feel like you're entitled to an explanation," he supplemented, voice more smug now than sensual as he took in Demyx's flustered state, well aware he'd regained control of the conversation. "I have a date to get back to."

He made a move as if to leave but then slowed, turned back to regard Demyx once more. "You look cute tonight," Axel said, a subtle curve hinted at in the corner of one side of his mouth as his demeanor changed back to the confident cockiness Demyx was by now much more familiar with.

"I just thought you should know."

Then he was gone, into the noise and bustle of the dance beyond the bathroom's walls, leaving Demyx with a blush on his cheeks, a frenetic fluttering in his chest. It took him a moment longer even after that to process the quoted words Axel had just uttered, and to realize that the beseeching lines against gossip had come straight out of...

...the Holy Bible itself.

~ o ~ o ~

When Demyx emerged from the bathroom, there was no sign of any member of the trio he'd just encountered in the immediate vicinity. Already tense and still trying to work his way through what he'd just encountered, Demyx was only half aware that the atmosphere had transitioned from upbeat, synthesized pop songs into something more subdued, quieter ballads much more suited for slow dancing couples. It was probably music he should be asking Naminé to join him in dancing to, come to think, but Demyx's mind was too muddled, too concerned over where Sora had run off to. As much as he didn't want to think back on it, the distressed look in Sora's eyes, and the way he'd fled rather than deciding to argue with Roxas in front of him, reminded Demyx all too well of another, similar situation in his not-so-distant past. It had him wavering between seeking out his classmate to see if he was alright or returning to Naminé's side as if nothing had happened.

In a way, Demyx couldn't blame Sora for not wanting to start a confrontation with Roxas, even though he didn't really get what the deal was between the two, or how Axel had ended up involved in it at all. In the face of an authority figure at his last school, Demyx had clammed up too, had been more interested in self preservation than defending a friendship he was now convinced was damaged irreparably. Maybe he should've stood up for himself, or at least lent some words of support for his…

He swallowed uncomfortably, finding his throat tight with tension of words left unsaid, of actions he'd missed out on taking. In the end, it all came back to him being a coward who cared more about what other people wanted, what his father thought, than with what he might've felt was sincerely the best for the people actually involved. Belonging was too important for him, his parents' approval too crucial, to feel like he could speak out. In the face of Sora's distress, was it really any surprise he'd clammed up and let Axel - of all freaking people - come to his new friend's defense in his stead?

With a feeling of burning shame, Demyx turned back toward the area of the room where he'd last seen his date for the evening, decision made, if not quite yet settled entirely on.

The girls were pretty much where he'd left them not all that long ago, Kairi and Naminé chatting amicably with one another, while Selphie bounced on her heels, eyes trained at some distant point across the dance floor with an expression of anticipation, veritable unsuppressed glee.

Noticing his approach, Naminé's face lit up, making Demyx's stomach flip over in an entirely different way than Axel's presence had just achieved a few minutes prior. He forced a smile onto his face, hoping it didn't look too half-hearted, before scanning the dance floor once more. "Sora and I got kinda separated on the way back over here," Demyx said, trying to keep his voice nonchalant as he noticed Riku's sudden appearance, stepping up behind Selphie with two plastic cups of fruit punch in hand. "Has anyone seen him or, er, does anyone know where he might've gone?"

That odd, uninterpretable look that Demyx had noticed several times in the last month passed across Riku's expression. "Why do you want to know where Sora is? Is something wrong?"

Was that sharp tone conveying judgment? Concern? Demyx didn't have time to think about it, as Selphie nearly interrupted Riku in her attempt to respond, at the same time grabbing one of the drinks out of Riku's hand and just narrowly avoiding spilling it mid-bounce when she whirled back toward the spot across the room she'd been eyeballing since Demyx had returned.

"No clue about Sora, but we found Axel's date. Look!"

Grateful to have a moment's reprieve from Riku's intense gaze, Demyx turned toward the approaching couple, more to humor Selphie and avoid having to answer Riku than because he actually wanted to know who Axel had brought to Holy Hearts' Senior Prom.

But then he caught a glimpse of the object of Selphie's current gossip-infused obsession and Demyx froze in place, unable to keep the surprise off his face. He supposed he should've been thankful that he wasn't currently drinking punch, at least, because he definitely would've choked on it, full-out.

Arms wrapped around one another's waists, a self-satisfied expression on one particular red-head's face, Demyx soon found himself wishing he'd opted for Operation Find Sora or, heck, even just remained holed up in the bathroom for the remainder of the night. Because, now nearly face-to-face with Axel's date, Demyx found himself gawking at someone he hadn't anticipated ever seeing again, let alone hearing speak to him with a conversational tone as though the last handful of weeks hadn't been the most emotionally excruciating of his adolescent life, to date.

"Hey, blondie," Axel's date said, breaking away from the red-head just enough to reach out and ruffle the longer tresses of Demyx's gel-styled hair with apparent affection. "Long time no-freaking-see, right?"


	9. Chapter 9

For a moment, it seemed like they all existed in a bubble, completely separate from the noise and people around them. When Demyx looked back on it later, he wouldn't be able to say with any certainty if he'd even been hearing any sounds outside of their group at that moment. Not music, not the conversation of others. They existed in their own time and space, at least for a small quantity of time.

It was Selphie who ultimately broke the silence.

"Wait," she said, head cocked to one side, giving her the appearance of a curious puppy as she looked over at Demyx, "you already know her?"

Axel's date made a sound that fell somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. "Of course he knows me, Tigger. Dem and I go way back."

Selphie's face was alight with momentary confusion, as if she didn't initially understand the reference. It was probably for the best, Demyx thought, considering how very much he didn't feel like ending up in the middle of a cat-fight right now.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Kairi took a long, scrutinizing look at her brother, before glancing between the newcomer and Demyx. "You do?"

Demyx nodded. "Larxene and I were at the same school before I transferred. We were friends."

The blonde girl smiled, shot the group a self-satisfied look that mirrored Axel's from just moments before. "_Are _friends," she corrected. "Unless all that radio silence was meant as one big 'fuck off' in my general direction."

Beside him, Demyx saw Kairi blanche at the language. Selphie shifted between feet, looking uncomfortable, despite the friendly smile still plastered across her face. Even Naminé looked hesitant, uncertain about how to respond.

"You, er, I mean — I've just been busy keeping up with classes …and trying to settle in," Demyx said, his voice quiet, eyes down.

"Oh, is that what that was?" Larxene's tone remained conversational but Demyx could sense the underlying ire in her words. "I figured you were more interested in trying to forget."

That did snap his head up. Demyx opened his mouth, wanting to reply to her comment, just not sure what to counter with. She hadn't exactly spoken an untruth.

Then there was still Axel, silently observing nearby, expression no longer smug but eyes still keenly taking in everything that was occurring in front of them. How had he known? About Larxene? Band and Izo…? Just, everything. Why had he decided that _this_ was the way he wanted to reveal his knowledge?

And if Axel knew so much about the entire messed up situation, why wasn't he spilling it, revealing Demyx's awful, shameful secret? Had he brought Larxene to do that work for him? Was she really that pissed off about his online avoidance that she'd willingly humiliate him in such a public setting? There'd be no coming back from a spectacle like this, Demyx realized. Not if his father got wind of it, at any rate. It'd be one embarrassment too much for his family.

A light hand on his shoulder directed Demyx's attention away from Axel and Larxene. He turned his head slightly, took in Riku by his side.

"While this is all very …interesting, I guess… you were saying something about Sora before. Something about him leaving?"

Demyx shook his head, trying to both clear his thoughts and communicate his uncertainty. "I don't know if he left," he said, eyes still distractedly wandering back to the odd pairing of red and blonde before him. "He just ran out of the bathroom in a huge rush…"

Axel's eyes flashed a dangerous green, head shaking almost imperceptibly, as if trying to convey a warning.

"…After Roxas got on him about…um, something."

Oops. Too late, Demyx realized what Axel must not have wanted him to say. Riku homed in on it immediately too, hand tightening like a vice on Demyx's shoulder.

"Roxas said _what_?"

Demyx looked helplessly back at Axel, but the red-head's arm had snaked back around Larxene's shoulder, his expression wiped clear of any hints at how Demyx should respond. All three junior girls watched the interaction with curiosity, but mercifully didn't opt to join in.

Shaking off Riku's hand, Demyx shrugged, frustrated. "I don't know, man! He was getting all pissy about Sora being in the bathroom. Something about single-stalls or whatever. Sora got super upset but it wasn't like Roxas was making a whole lot of sense. Maybe someone spiked his punch. Or he was PMSing or something."

Riku looked up, past Demyx. Toward Axel. For a moment, they seemed to share a silent conversation that Demyx couldn't decode. Then he turned to Selphie.

"I'm sorry, but I need to go."

She looked confused, but nodded hesitantly.

Riku returned the nod with his usual curtness. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Then he was off, making his way searchingly through the crowd, on his way toward the exit.

The remaining group stood in silence for a pregnant moment. Demyx couldn't be sure how the others were feeling, but he knew with certainty what was running through the confines of his own mind - he'd abandoned someone he cared about once, even if it hadn't been entirely voluntary. And he hadn't tried to help Sora when it first appeared he needed it. Making the same mistake three times? That was a trifecta of regrets he didn't want to to have to look back on.

"I…I think I'm going to try to help Riku find Sora," he turned to Naminé, expression beseeching, "if that's okay with you, I mean." His features held regret, knowing this wasn't the version of Prom she'd probably envisioned.

Naminé offered him a small, understanding smile. "It's fine," she said. "Go and make sure he's okay." She turned to Kairi and Selphie. "Maybe you two can help me find Roxas and figure out what's going on with him."

Selphie, at least, was already bouncing at the prospect.

With a backwards glance at Axel and Larxene, still uncertain of one's intentions and the other's capacity for forgiveness, Demyx turned and began to make his way toward the direction he'd last seen Riku heading.

Just before the music and other Prom-goers engulfed him completely, he heard one feminine voice ring out from their group, her tone good-natured, reflective.

"Who knew Axel had a thing for blondes?" Demyx heard Selphie comment. "I sure didn't see that one coming!"

~ o ~ o ~

It soon became clear that Sora hadn't remained at the hotel. A quick scan of the dance floor and surrounding areas revealed no sign of the brunet. Demyx had seen Roxas off in one corner though, conversing with his date. The blond's expression had still been guarded, tight, but by the mere fact that his limbs were all still attached to his body, Demyx could only assume that Riku hadn't encountered him on his way out.

If looks could kill, Roxas might have been able to match Riku glare for furious glare, but Demyx figured the silver haired boy had the total upper hand when it came to actual physical strength.

He slipped out the door, past a few parent chaperones, and into the hotel's grand reception area. Door closed behind him, Demyx took a moment to relish the relative quiet of the area in comparison to the room he'd just been in. He also took the time to scan the space, eyes hawkish, looking for either of his recently departed classmates.

Neither Riku nor Sora was in this area though.

Demyx sighed, ran a hand through his hair again, no longer mindful of the fact that he was copying the way Axel touched his own hair on multiple occasions. Between the red-head, Larxene, and this latest drama between Roxas and Sora, this evening was turning into a mess. An emotional, freaking confusing-as-hell mess. And, even worse, he had no idea where to search from here.

The volume of dance music swelled as the doors behind him opened one brief time more.

"Looks like you lost them," Larxene said, coming up on Demyx from behind. "What good are you if you can't even keep track of someone with magical, unicorn hair and biceps that go on for miles?"

Demyx turned, shot her an incredulous look. She was going to make jokes at a time like this? Seriously?

A moment later, the door opened again, and Demyx forced his expression into one of neutrality as Axel emerged.

The red-head looked between the pair of them. "They're not here, I'm guessing?"

Larxene shook her head, two sprite-like tresses above her ears swaying with the movement. "Lover-boy here went and lost track of 'em."

Okay, that was seriously _it_ with the underhanded comments, not to mention his confusion and everything else that had been going on tonight, Demyx thought. Lover-fricking-boy? On what planet… did she get off… calling him…

"Do you two, like, _know_ each other from somewhere or something?" he asked instead, his expression openly showing his annoyance at their most recent exchange.

"Not as well as you both know each other," Axel replied.

Which, you know, wasn't a flippin' answer at all.

Demyx stared at Axel, his expression full of incredulity. These cryptic responses were getting really, truly old at this point.

Axel seemed to study him for a moment, taking in his expression in all its irritated glory, before moving a step closer to Demyx.

Uh uh. Not this godforsaken time! Demyx took a step of the same length back, keeping himself a respectable distance away and out of his classmate's reach.

"Stop it. For real. No more Bible verse pseudo-_whatever_ explanations," he said, voice terse but low enough not to carry too far out into the reception area. "I don't even get why Sora left, let alone how you two know each other well enough to be each other's dates at a dance put on by a school where _you_," here, he jabbed an accusing finger Larxene's way, "don't even go."

If he'd expected his little outburst to have a shaming effect on either of them, Demyx soon found himself sorely mistaken. Axel was still regarding him with that obnoxiously unreadable expression. And Larxene? Larxene was rolling her eyes.

"Oh my _gawd_, you're such a prissy little drama queen for someone who's supposed to be on the DL."

Demyx froze at the remark, afraid to look Axel's way. Before he could consider a denial, or even a furious retort, Larxene picked up where she'd left off, placing a hand on each chiffon-covered hip, giving Demyx the impression that she was just warming up.

_Uh oh._

"I'm _here_ because I miss you and wanted to stay in touch. But you were too absorbed in your own woe-is-me, over-the-top displays of emo-ness that you were ignoring all my attempts at getting in contact, you whiny, tone deaf douche-nozzle."

A flush began to creep into Demyx's face. When she framed the whole situation like _that_, well yeah, it did really seem like he was the one at fault in this whole mess.

"You are _seriously_ lucky that I like you, you half-assededly blond idiot," Larxene hissed, completely ignoring the irony of how off-putting it looked for someone done-up in pastel pink prom attire to be swearing on the level of a sailor six months out to sea in the middle of a fancy hotel reception area, "and that I gave enough fucks to find someone at that dinky little new school of yours willing to help me get through to you."

Here, Demyx did glance at Axel, who merely inclined his head in humble affirmation, as though accepting a special achievement award and subtly acknowledging an adoring, applauding crowd.

"I…" he started, completely at a loss from trying to process the new information he'd just been handed. "…thought you were trying to spy on me," he finished, realizing how lame it sounded now that the thought had been verbalized publicly.

_Thought you were trying to out me, actually_, he supplemented but didn't dare say out loud.

Axel raised an eyebrow at the admission. "Your mind works through evidence it's presented in very …odd ways."

"More like fucked up, irrational ways," Larxene muttered, still shooting Demyx a withering glare.

Axel shrugged, began to look bored again. "Personally, I fail to see the difference. It's all a matter of semantics, really."

Demyx was momentarily thrown by just how starkly Axel sounded like someone else from his past, someone who liked to consider himself a budding academic and who wouldn't be caught dead at a school event like this, he was pretty sure. Someone he could've stayed home with, avoiding a dance like this completely in favor of more preferred alone time together...

"At any rate," Axel continued, oblivious to Demyx's thoughts and still sounding so maddeningly apathetic about it all, "we can flesh out the details of who knows whom and why at some later time. Right now, we should try to locate Sora, assuming Riku hasn't managed to find him already."

Demyx threw up his hands, a gesture borne of helpless frustration. "Good luck with that. Like Larx said, I lost Riku awhile ago. I have no idea where either would go from here, so I think we're kinda stuck."

Axel made a tsk-tsking sound at the back of his throat, expression turning patient like he was dealing with a child.

Good Lord, if he wasn't so damn cute, the guy would be seriously infuriating…

No, scratch that, he was cute _in spite of_ being infuriating. That sounded better.

"I have a pretty good idea where they might have gone."

Larxene quirked her head toward Axel. "If they're there together, why bother going to look for them?" she asked. "Sparkle Hair PonyBoy seems more than capable of handling a little emotional outburst."

"Right," Axel said, nodding. "Except I don't want to risk being wrong and having the pleasure of ending this night having to lay someone to rest, rather than," he shot a pointed look Demyx's way, "simply getting someone laid."

Demyx was gawking again, and he knew it, even if he wasn't able to control his expression. Laid… laying someone to…

How the hell did they go from worrying that Sora's feelings were hurt to him being suicidal? What the absolute fu—

"Come on then," Axel interrupted his line of thought mid-curse. "Let's go hail a cab and get this over and done with."

Wordlessly, Demyx found himself following Axel toward the hotel's entranceway, Larxene taking up the rear, her movements impressively adept given how perilously balanced she seemed to be in high heels that seemed better suited for use as weapons than dance-ready footwear.

"God," he heard her mutter from a few paces behind as Axel disappeared out the front door and toward a valet in the drop-off area nearby, "why does everyone at this school have to be so fucking dramatic?"


	10. Chapter 10

Demyx had to admit that riding in the back of a taxicab, smushed between Axel's bony ass and Larxene's chest that had clearly taken full advantage of all the benefits a push-up bra had to offer, had not been how he'd envisioned spending the night of his senior Prom.

But here he was, heading off to destinations unknown with his verifiable crush and a friend he honest to goodness never thought he'd end up seeing again after the fiasco at his last school. In a way, Demyx mused, he really should've been happier when viewing his current situation in that light. Instead, he couldn't help but continue to feel an increasing sense of dread as the minutes ticked by.

Was it in Axel's general nature to embellish and dramatize information or was there really a genuine concern that Sora might hurt himself? And if it ended up being the latter, why the crap would what Roxas had said have that kind of effect on his cousin in the first place?

All of this was making the sense that so totally didn't.

At least, Demyx conceded, he'd finally figured out the deal with the spy issue. Or, er, utter lack of the same thereof. Fail so hard yet again.

"Are we almost there?" Larxene asked, forcing Demyx out of his thoughts and back into the smothering confines of their current predicament. "I like you guys and all, but I would've preferred to take the front seat." Her tone took on a whiny quality as she shot the cabbie an irritated look. Trying to get into a more comfortable position, she shifted in the cramped space of the compact car. It only served to shove her breasts closer to Demyx's face.

Not. Awkward. At. All…

The cabbie turned to regard the three of them at a stoplight, his long red hair swinging lazily behind him as he moved, expression unconcerned. "Sorry, yo." To Demyx, the guy looked anything but apologetic. "Got too much of my own shit up here. That's what you get when you don't drive yourselves, kiddies. Use your next paycheck and buy your own ride if you've got an issue."

As the light changed, the cabbie twisted back in his seat, returning to a regular driving position. From the rearview mirror, he eyeballed the trio behind him. "Or maybe pool your allowances, come to think." He chuckled at his own joke. The irony? The dude was probably only a year or two out of high school himself, from what Demyx could glean from his partial view.

Out of the corner of his vision, Demyx saw Axel roll his eyes. It occurred to him that his classmate could probably afford to buy all three of them new cars, plus the cabbie to boot, if what he'd heard about Axel's family money held true. A second later, those musings dissolved completely as Demyx felt the red-head sigh, body relaxing noticeably against his left side.

"If I'd known we were going to get this intimate tonight, I'd have brought a condom."

The words were whispered quietly, but in the close confines of the cab, Axel's voice traveled the few inches that separated him from Demyx and Larxene. While Demyx was busy trying control the sudden rush of nervy fluttering that was quickly transitioning to heat in places he didn't particularly want to think about right now, Larxene snickered on the other side of him.

"Behave, boys. We wouldn't want Demyx getting kicked out of another school for inappropriate interactions with _my fucking prom date_."

Okay, it was official - his face was doing a perfect rendition of Kairi's hair color immediately after a strong dye job right now. He was sure of it.

"Not this close to graduation anyway," Larxene added, voice sing-song. Apparently she was on a roll and happy to play the comedienne schtick to its fullest.

"Remind me to strangle you when my hands aren't pinned to my sides," Demyx half-growled.

He heard Larxene cackle next to him in response. "A bit kinky for my tastes but whatever floats your boat, lover-boy."

The cab made a turn off the main road and into a familiar-looking parking lot before coming to a slow rolling stop. "Thank God," Demyx said, as he felt the pressure lift on both sides of him with Larxene and Axel exiting the car.

The cabbie turned to him. "You're tellin' me. Kids these days talk about the weirdest shit." He turned toward the driver-side window, rolling it down just low enough to take the money Axel was offering up. "Now get out, yo," he called back to Demyx. "I gotta make _my_ money doing more than just blond whores and household chores."

~ o ~ o ~

They were completely across the unlit parking lot and halfway up a grassy embankment when Demyx finally realized where Axel had directed the cabdriver to take them.

"You seriously think Sora got upset and decided _this_ was the place to go to cheer himself up?" Demyx asked, skepticism apparent in his voice.

By his side, Axel remained quiet.

Larxene, not so much.

"Fucking _fuck_. If I'd known we were going to hike a damn mountain, I would've brought some actual shoes."

"C'mon, Larx," Demyx said, his patience for complaints waning with each passing moment. "It's just a little hill. It's not _that_ bad."

A moment later, he felt a light punch to his shoulder that might've left a pretty nasty bruise, had Larxene not completely lost her balance a second beforehand. She teetered precariously in her spiky heels for a moment, before pitching forward, breaking the fall with her knees and hands.

Most girls would have shrieked or made some other typically feminine noise in response to getting grass stains on their Prom dress. But this was Larxene, and threats to others' physical wellbeing were way more up her alley.

"Tell that to my broken ankle when I shove my foot straight up your ass," she shot back.

Above them, Axel paused, turned to glance over one shoulder. "Give her a hand so we can get going," he ordered Demyx. "I don't know about you, but I personally have better things to do with the remainder of my evening after sorting out this mess."

"Like getting laid, yeah," Demyx called out. Despite his annoyance, he was careful to keep his tone adequately low so it wouldn't carry out into the surrounding vicinity. "I remember."

After all, it was kind of hard to forget a comment like that…

If Axel's expression changed in response, Demyx didn't end up seeing it as he leaned over to follow the red-head's directive to help a scowling Larxene up the last third of the hill.

Once over the hill's final steep embankment, the trio stopped to look up at their ultimate destination.

"You took us back to your high school," Larxene said, her voice deadpan, lips pressing into a thin line. "That's just...ironic as shit to me."

"You don't have to come in," Axel said, brushing a few specks of dirt off the thigh of one pant leg. "In fact, it'd probably be useful to have someone stay here and keep an eye out in case anyone else shows up."

Larxene raised a questioning eyebrow, apparently not following.

"Janitors, teachers, administrators," Axel recited in explanation. "We're not going to want to get caught by any of them," he said. He turned his green gaze toward Demyx. "Or else more than one of us will have to start worrying about not making it to graduation, I suspect."

Demyx felt himself go cold, swallowing hard. Awesome. Just what he needed to be doing at the moment - taking more risks that could get him in trouble with his parents.

And just when it seemed like they were beginning to trust him again…

Larxene hiked up her skirt, unceremoniously kicked off her heels, and, with Demyx gawking by her side, pulled a cigarette out of her…

_Oh, geez. Seriously?!_

"I don't suppose either of you has a light," she said, ignoring Demyx's shell-shocked expression as she rolled the white cylinder between two fingers.

Demyx shook his head at the same moment he heard Axel say, "I do."

Okay, sure. Of course he freaking would.

"You are both a piece of work," Demyx muttered, watching as Axel slid a shining metallic lighter out of his shirt pocket, thumb pressing against its beveled compressor until it ignited, then allowed Larxene to light up.

Once done, Axel snuffed out the lighter's flame with a definitive click and slid the metal object back into a pocket.

"Come on," he said, beckoning to Demyx with a jerk of his head. "Let's get going."

Demyx hesitated only a moment, shooting a glance at Larxene in all her grass-stained, pastel taffeta pink, barefoot, cigarette puffing glory, before turning heel and sprinting after Axel as both made their way in the direction of Holy Hearts Academy.

And hopefully, Demyx thought, not complete, utter, and total doom in the process.

~ o ~ o ~

They walked together in silence, Axel with his usual self-assured demeanor, Demyx with shoulders rounded, hands shoved into both pockets, mind whirling. He registered none of the by now familiar landmarks en route to his new school, at least not until they crossed the underpass where he'd encountered Axel after his first day of school. The image of his classmate languidly resting, back against the unyielding brick wall, lips savoring one end of a cigarette, was probably destined to be burned into his memory forever at this point.

If Axel was having similar thoughts, he made no outward indication of them as he passed on by, then turned a brick corner toward the school's back wall.

There was something bothering Demyx, although he couldn't put his finger on what initially. When they eventually encountered a door, ominous with its thickly imposing metal frame, it finally came to him.

"Er, something tells me this isn't gonna be unlocked," he said, voice hushed even though he seriously doubted anyone else was close enough to hear.

For his part, Axel merely shrugged, unconcerned. "Obviously."

Before Demyx could ask any other questions about why they'd even bothered to come then, or how Axel thought Sora could manage — or would even want — to break into school property on Prom night, Demyx saw Axel slide a hand into his pants pocket. A moment later, it emerged with a small set of keys. The red-head thumbed through them with discernment, stopping on the second to last one. He scrutinized it for a moment before seeming satisfied with his choice. Reaching up, Axel inserted the key into the door's lock.

A moment later, a click, then the door opened inward, revealing one of the many hallways into the school's interior.

"You have a key…" Demyx spoke slowly, trying to wrap his mind around what he'd just witnessed. "…to the school. Seriously?" Was this another one of those special privileges Axel got to avail himself of due to his family's money, or…

"Actually," Axel said, interrupting his thoughts as he slipped in through the door and indicated Demyx should follow, "Kairi has a key. Because of her admin volunteer work. I just 'borrowed' it and made a few copies."

Another mystery solved, albeit a small one. Considering how candid Axel seemed to be when he was outright asked a question, Demyx was kind of wishing he'd come up with the right ones to ask a whole lot sooner than…well, now, actually.

Too bad it wasn't really an appropriate time to start asking more.

As Axel moved with purposeful steps through the darkened halls, lit only by the faint light emitting from occasional windows in passing, Demyx scrambled to keep up.

"So you do this often," he said, tone a little breathless due to speed-walking. "Breaking and entering?"

Axel shot him an impatient backwards glance. "I'd hardly call it that when nothing's actually been broken."

"You know what I mean!"

Urgh, why did his classmate always have to be so snarky? And annoying.

_And, in that well-fitting suit, so incredibly, unrepentantly hot…GAH_.

"Anyway," Demyx forged on. "What makes you so sure this is where Sora'd even go?" The further they walked, and the more time he had to take in his surroundings, the more familiar their route seemed to be getting to Demyx.

Wasn't this… the music wing?

Axel didn't respond, just pushed through one more set of double doors, then slowed his pace considerably. Behind him, Demyx followed suit. There was a faint glow coming from this new space, one that hinted at artificial rather than moonlight. It was partially blocked by Axel's silhouette ahead of him, so Demyx found himself craning his neck to get a better view.

"That's the band room, isn't it?"

Axel nodded. "That would be the band room," he confirmed.

A deluge of memories flooded Demyx's mind. Such a simple, inconspicuous little word, but it'd once meant so much to him. Although he had known this place's location practically since day one, Demyx had spent the last few weeks overtly avoiding this area of the school, fearful of what might rise up from his unconsciousness and have the potential to drown him in agonizing whole. He moved forward now, as if in a daze, only vaguely aware that Axel was hanging back, watching him closely. The red-head only resumed his approach once Demyx had passed him by.

Cautiously, almost afraid of what he was about to look into, and half-convinced he was going to have an utter break with reality and start seeing scenes from his past rather than what was occurring in his immediate present, Demyx sidled up to the sliver of open door and peeked into the room.

His breath hitched at what he saw, catching harshly in his throat, even while he wasn't even totally sure what was his eyes were seeing was being processed by his brain into something even remotely comprehensible.

Suddenly, he felt a presence behind him, warm breath tickling the back of his neck.

_Axel._

When he next spoke, Axel's voice was smug, lightly teasing. Undoubtedly anything but troubled by what he was witnessing in the next room over.

Well, that made one of them, Demyx thought, as he felt a warm flush enter his cheeks when Axel's whispered words finally reached their intended mark.

"I did say you should've added band last period, didn't I?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Two Months Ago**

They had stayed late after band practice, although only one of them had actually been practicing this particular afternoon. Licking his lips in concentration, Demyx situated the reed of his oboe against the top of his tongue and began the woodwind portion of the song's chorus for what seemed like the fiftieth time that afternoon. Part of him enjoyed the challenge; it was only his second year playing as a band member and he'd already managed to make first chair. Another part of him longed to get back to his dorm room, to run his hands against the comforting, familiar curves of his guitar, to feel the mild prickliness as fingers plucked at textured strings. The instrument had been his grandfather's, and although he had one of much better quality back at home, there was a unique, visceral feeling that came with playing this particular guitar. It had so much history, reminded him so much of his _opa_ and how he'd learned to love music as a kid in the first place.

The oboe, on the other hand, was a newer pursuit, something taken up to get him some experience playing in a larger ensemble. Demyx liked it well enough, but it was string instruments he felt truly drawn to.

"That was better, although I think you're still beginning the crescendo prematurely," his partner said. Elbows pressing the weight of his upper body onto his knees, the boy looked down at the instrument between his legs, then began to disassemble and clean it.

Demyx sighed. "Yeah, I definitely felt it that time. Lame."

"It'll come," his friend said. "Maybe step away from it for the day. You can work on it more tomorrow."

"Together? Because you're definitely helping." Demyx's voice was hopeful.

His friend nodded, sliding the first piece of his saxophone into its storage case. As he leaned forward, a tuft of slate blue hair that had been tucked behind one ear fell forward over his eyes. Idly, he brushed the hair away, then glanced at Demyx out of his one visible eye, expression mutedly troubled.

"I think I may drop band next trimester."

Demyx's head jerked up, away from his sheet music. "Say what?"

Ienzo held his gaze but didn't repeat himself.

Trying to busy himself with cleaning and putting away his own instrument as much as to avoid revealing how much the comment had unsettled him, Demyx looked down. Then, unable to help himself, he stole another glance at where his friend was seated.

"Why?"

The question was asked in a small, hesitant voice, as though Demyx was afraid of hearing the answer.

Ienzo smiled, eyes losing focus as though his thoughts had drifted. "Mr. Wallace invited me to take his advanced creative writing class next trimester."

At this, Demyx did look up. So this wasn't related to him. At least, that's what it sounded like. The realization gave him a modicum of relief.

"He wants me to finish working on a story I was writing in English and submit it to an anthology," Ienzo continued, his voice taking on a self-conscious quality. "I was considering using a pen name though, because the subject is a little…" he paused, as if trying to choose his words carefully. If Demyx had really been paying attention, he would have noticed the subtle flush of coloring creeping up his friend's face. But his eyes were down, thought elsewhere, on his own personal concerns and their tenuous relation to the boy sitting nearby.

"Controversial."

The word lingered between them, then settled uncomfortably as neither moved to continue the conversation at first. Demyx could think of something else that was controversial, as Izo had phrased it. But it was his secret, not something to be shared. Not even with his closest friend.

"Zexion," Ienzo blurted. "I was thinking of using Zexion." This time Demyx did look up, confusion clouding his eyes as he struggled to remember where he'd heard the name before.

Picking up on the meaning behind Demyx's expression, Ienzo leaned forward and was quick to supplement. "Remember the stage names we chose when we thought we were going to become professional musicians? Back in ninth grade? I chose Zexion and you picked—"

"Myde," Demyx cut in. "Yeah… I remember."

Now it was coming back to him. They'd had such big dreams about making and playing music. Or Demyx had, anyway. There'd always been a part of him that felt like Ienzo had just been humoring him on the indie band idea. His friend had been drawn to the possibility of writing song lyrics initially, but had really only joined band to have more time together with Demyx at school and to receive access to the studio after hours to practice with him.

Writing had been Ienzo's true passion. It gave Izo what music offered Demyx. Really, this news he was being presented with now shouldn't have been surprising. They couldn't always do the same activities together, especially when they went off to college and ultimately ended up picking different majors. Demyx had known that. And yet, he still didn't know how to respond now that they were actually starting to walk down different paths.

"I still like playing the sax," Ienzo said, his voice even more tentative now than it had been initially. "I just don't think I'll have time for both…"

"Makes sense," Demyx managed finally, but found himself at a loss for what else to say. His thoughts — and feelings — were muddled. He was happy for Izo. The class would be an awesome opportunity for him, especially if he got published. Definitely. But there was also the underlying realization that he'd be seeing a whole lot less of his friend in their final months of high school as a result.

Finished cleaning his instrument, Demyx snapped the oboe case closed, then stood. He smiled at his friend, but it felt forced, unnatural.

Turning quickly, he moved to the back of the band room. His footsteps seemed to echo in the expanse of the empty, cavernous space. It reminded him of the final, anticipatory moments prior to a band concert, in the few seconds when the audience was completely silent, waiting for the first strains of music after the conductor's arms rose in preparation, a controlled crescendo of physical action — a promise of the performance to come.

The only eyes on him right now were Ienzo's, although this provided Demyx no comfort as he opened a door at the back of the room and slipped into the storage area.

Once out of Ienzo's sight, Demyx sighed, releasing his breath in one anxious exhalation as he stood on his tiptoes and pushed his oboe case onto the topmost shelf labeled with his name, next to the other woodwind instruments.

He balanced there a moment, looking at his instrument almost lovingly, before lowering his heels back to the ground, steeling himself to return to the band room and face Ienzo again — and to act more like the supportive friend he should've been in the first darn place, he told himself sternly.

He didn't get the chance. A moment later, he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Are you angry with me?" The question, though spoken softly, resonated through Demyx's mind, echoing his friend's worried tone long after Ienzo had stopped speaking.

Was he? Demyx couldn't be sure, although he didn't think so. There was just so much change going on his life right now, even beyond Ienzo's latest declaration. Mid-terms. College decisions. And that subtle but incessant, needling feeling… a life-changing realization that he'd been trying to avoid acknowledging. His shameful, sinful difference.

Demyx twisted, face contorted, a perfect depiction of emotional turmoil, and found himself turning almost directly into his friend.

The expression dropped, ceded to one of surprise at his friend's proximity. He wanted to explain, wanted Ienzo to know that what Demyx was currently feeling had nothing to do with what he'd just been told.

Well, it had almost nothing to do with Ienzo…

"I…" As Demyx spoke, he sucked in a harsh breath of air, but then lost his train of thought entirely as one, simple realization registered in his mind. Ienzo's hand had remained on his shoulder, lingering, fingers gently kneading the tense muscle beneath them. This was longer than boys were supposed to touch each other, more meaningful than a simple finger tap to get his attention. Unbidden, Demyx felt a trembling begin to rise from deep within his chest as he locked eyes with those of his friend.

And then they were connected, mouths pressing against one another, arms reaching, wrapping around the other's shoulders, grasping at their backs, a frenzy of tension releasing like a tightly coiled spring. Simple and raw, unadulterated need.

Weeks, even months, after that afternoon, Demyx would still find himself unsure that he remembered the details correctly about who had initiated what, or even how long it had lasted. All he remembered was the dueling feelings of completeness — that something in his life, about his feelings leading up to this point, felt undeniably right — and distress — because just as undeniable as his attractions were, he ultimately knew they didn't align with what he'd been taught, what he knew was expected of him in the eyes of his community, and the teachings of his faith.

But, _oh God_, it was what he wanted, what he knew others were feeling when dating couples held hands in the halls, stole quickly pecked kisses after class. And, _oh Lord_, it was what he'd yearned to experience — even _prayed_ desperately for — and now that he had, now that he knew what it felt like to be connected to Ienzo in such a way, he honest to goodness didn't want to let it out of his grasp.

Had his friend wanted it too? The action had been so entirely unanticipated, and such a singly, fleeting encounter, that Demyx wouldn't get the opportunity to ask.

For, at that moment, in their innocent obliviousness, neither Demyx nor Ienzo initially noticed the approaching figure, the silhouette of a teacher, arms crossed and expression stern, taking in everything they were doing under the frame of the band's storage room door.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N**: I hope anyone who reads this will indulge my need to tell a slightly rambling personal anecdote before getting on with the final chapter in this story. Feel free to skip if you just want to read the fic. Also! I am planning a sequel to this story, tentatively titled 'Saving Graces', which follows Demyx, Riku, and Roxas (and, obviously, the other people in their lives like Axel, Sora, Xion, Ienzo/Zexion, et al.) during their time in college. If you liked this story and want to read more in the same vein, add me to your author alerts so you'll be notified when that starts going up.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read, review, and chat with me via PM. It was truly motivating, especially as I reread older reviews and contemplated my return after a three year fic writing hiatus. I came back to this fic with literally no idea where I'd intended to go with it three years ago, because I suck and didn't bother to plan/outline anything at the time. It would've been really easy just not bothering with trying to build the final half of the story, but the reviews were just so great that I wanted to at least try to complete it on the off-chance that anyone was still interested in reading it.

In short (which is never how I do anything; you may have noticed): you guys are awesome.

* * *

><p><span>So, Anecdote<span>: I went on a blind date (okay, several) during my fic writing hiatus and we started talking about our backgrounds over dinner. When I got to the part about where I'd gone to high school, I sort of glossed over the location. I'd ended up attending four separate high schools as a teen, spread out between small towns in the Deep South and suburban Midwest.

When pressed to name the actual school I'd graduated from, I humored the guy, not really thinking anything of it. He was a West Coaster. No one from here would have heard of my dinky little high school (unless they happened to have read a certain book by Elinor Burkett, which was written while I was a junior there. Randomly enough, this guy actually had).

"Oh, I used to date a guy who graduated from that school," he replied casually.

I remember freezing, probably blinking at him with a comically surprised expression plastered on my face. The guy he'd named had graduated a year before me, but I definitely remembered him. And…

"…I didn't realize anyone at my school was gay," I blurted. _I mean, apart from myself_.

"Yeah," my date said. "That must've sucked. He told me the school wasn't super progressive, so he didn't come out until he was a sophomore in college out here. That's actually how we met."

I nodded but didn't initially respond. It was hard for me to reconcile the image I knew of this former classmate with the newfound information that he might've been dealing with similar issues I'd also grappled with, all the while neither of us having any inkling that the other was struggling in silence. High school had been such an isolating, lonely experience for me that this revelation brought with it a visceral sense of immediate, if only momentary, emotional agony.

"That's probably standard for the area where we grew up," I finally answered.

My date cocked his head to one side (kind of like Selphie in a previous chapter, come to think), looked at me curiously. "Why?" he asked. "When did you come out?"

I don't remember if I gave him a direct answer, but here's the real truth: it'd been less than a year at that point, and during that time, everything I'd been desperate to keep intact and somewhat normalized in my life had already fallen to pieces. My relationship with my family was in shambles, our communication tenuous at best, and lines of conversation dictated entirely on their terms, effectively erasing aspects of myself that were very deeply embedded as parts of my newfound identity. And I was still struggling with my own internalized self-loathing, blaming myself for their disapproval, telling myself I was being selfish for coming out. Because, quite honestly, that was all I was hearing, that my public declaration of self and identity was hurtful and offensive to others. I was in my late 20s, and it felt like I was having to build my life over from scratch, my family looking on disapprovingly from afar.

In a way, that's exactly what I did though. I made new, supportive friends, was more open about myself at a new job, and ultimately ended up meeting my current partner. And even though I'm the happiest I've been in recent memory, that happiness remains mingled with a sense of loss at what I had to give up to embrace this most genuine, honest version of myself.

* * *

><p>Those were the thoughts running through my mind when I wrote and edited this final section of Holier than Thou. I know it's only fiction, but the emotions some of these characters are feeling, the back-and-forth indecision about whether to put faith, friendship, or their own emotional needs first, are all very real. There's no right answer to that struggle, and I expect what ends up being appropriate for one person may differ for another. The point, as a certain blond-haired pastor in this story once advised, is to be aware, to be mindful and compassionate about what those around you might be going through. Because sometimes it's not easy to discern how similar your struggles are to someone else's, even if they happen to exist right under your very nose.<p>

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><p><strong>Present Day<strong>

"I did say you should've added band last period, didn't I?"

The words were said teasingly, without a hint of surprise or shock.

"But…" Demyx found himself struggling for the right words, heart aching from the weight of his still lingering thoughts, expression dazed, as he took in the scene taking place before him. "…Sora takes choir."

Yet, there Sora sat, knees splayed on the school's piano bench, shirt and suit coat draped haphazardly over a nearby chair, unclothed upper body facing away from the band room door, straight-up _straddling_ Riku.

And _kissing_ Riku, with so much passion that Demyx felt like his own upper body had been set on fire by proxy, as if the simple act of observing was enough to feel what the pair before him must certainly be experiencing in the heat of their intimate moment together.

Out of a narrow corner of his eye, Demyx saw Axel shrug, before pushing the door open a little further and making their presence effectively known. "Same difference, really. At least in this case."

Semantics, right, wasn't that what Axel had said earlier? It was all just semantics… fail to see the difference. Or some shit that _totally_ didn't matter right now.

Axel strolled into the band room, apparently untroubled at the prospect of interrupting his classmates. Demyx, however, hung back by the door.

It was Riku who noticed the newcomers first. Although Demyx couldn't see from his vantage point, his silver haired classmate must have tensed. His attention certainly wavered away from the boy on top of him and toward the entrance, because at that moment, Sora turned to follow Riku's line of sight.

Demyx had just enough time for his eyes to pass over the front of Sora's exposed chest and realize what he was seeing, before his classmate met his gaze, eyes widening and mouth forming a small 'o' of surprise. Sora made a quiet sound, tried to push himself off Riku's lap, only to lose his balance, his forearms hitting the piano keys behind him and creating sounds that were anything but melodic to Demyx's discerning ears, before Riku was able to steady him and pull Sora protectively closer.

And Demyx…Demyx was still gawking, trying to process everything he'd just seen, and make sense of the incongruence between his expectations for what a teenage boy's chest should look like and how Sora's actually appeared.

"Why did you bring _him_ here?" Riku's question was directed at Axel, voice low and angry, aquamarine eyes narrowed into slits. Knees now curled to conceal his chest, Sora remained seated on Riku's lap sideways. Even from the distance he was watching from, Demyx could see the rise and fall of Sora's anxious breathing, the subtle trembling in his shoulders as he buried his face into the curve of Riku's neck.

Axel sauntered closer to the pair, reaching an arm out to retrieve Sora's dress shirt from one of the nearby plastic band chairs. "One, he insisted on trying to help find you." Axel inclined his head Sora's way, arm outstretched with the dress shirt. Riku took it from him without a word, then draped it over Sora's shoulders as best he could from the angle he was currently sitting. Reaching up with shaking hands, Sora grabbed at the fabric, pulling it tightly over his chest.

"Two," Axel continued, eyes traveling back over to Demyx at the room's entrance, "he happens to be family, like we guessed." He waved Demyx over, encouraging him to approach.

Slowly, Demyx entered the room, still not sure he understood exactly what he was seeing. Or hearing, for that matter. Riku's expression remained hard, fierce. Guarded. He began to rub Sora's back, perhaps as a form of comfort, fingers rising to the boy's shoulders and pressing in consistent, firm motions into the small muscles they found there. The motion was so reminiscent of what Ienzo had not so long ago done for Demyx, it distracted him, took Demyx a moment longer to process the last thing Axel had said.

Family? The term didn't make any immediate sense. What did, though, was the scene he'd initially witnessed. The desperate longing in that kiss.

"So…you guys are all gay," he said, hardly daring to believe there could be truth in the statement. There was no obvious hint to his tone about what he thought of the revelation though. The words were stated simply, in as plain a way as possible, just to be safe.

"Bi here, actually," Axel said, a split second before Sora spoke up.

"No! I'm not. Riku and I…w-we're not."

Demyx raised an eyebrow at the same time Axel crossed his arms over his chest, rolling his own green eyes skyward. "Oh, here we go..."

That's when Sora's rocking began, gentle swaying movements in the confines of Riku's arms. Behind his friend, Riku pressed his lips together, forming a thin, consternated line. Sora continued muttering, seemingly talking as a form of comfort to himself more than speaking out toward the others around him. Demyx found himself straining to hear more than a few words at a time.

"Not… I don't want… disappoint Uncle Cloud. Against God…"

At the last handful of words, Demyx found himself frowning, copying Axel's stance, arms crossing over his chest. Against God. There it was again. Like he hadn't heard that accusation enough for one godforsaken lifetime.

"Well, it seems like everyone's figured _me_ out, at least," he said. Although he tried to keep his voice light, there was also an underlying hint of indignation that he made no effort to hide.

"And if I'm not going to deny that I'm gay, I _really_ don't see why you can't offer me the same courtesy, man."

For a moment, Sora just stared at him, a look of quiet incredulity gracing his features. Demyx looked back as levelly as possible, expression as neutral as he could muster. In his mind, he was trying to be encouraging, giving Sora the opportunity to concede that he wasn't the only one struggling with this awful, heavy realization.

"You're just lucky my uncle spoke up for you before your transfer," Sora said instead. What seemed like such an abrupt change in topics came from so far out of left field, Demyx found himself unable to control the expression of bafflement that fell into place as he tried to grasp the connection between what he'd just said and how Sora had actually responded.

"Sorry, what now?"

"Sora…" Riku's voice held a note of warning, one that Sora apparently decided to ignore completely as he slid off his classmate's lap, folding one side of his shirt over the other as he stood up and approached Demyx.

"You don't think we all know why you showed up so suddenly, so close to the end of the school year?"

Demyx felt his body go cold at the same time that his face filled with burning, shameful heat.

But Sora wasn't done yet. Sora hadn't finished.

"If not for Uncle Cloud, your parents would have boarded you. You would've ended up with the others who have to go through treatment to fix problems like disordered attractions. He convinced them to let you live at home, to just meet with counselors to see if that could get you back on the right path. He even got Kairi to assign _me_ to be your guide and make you feel more comfortable. Like I didn't already have enough to deal with this year," the boy exclaimed, shoulders rising testily. "Good lord!"

Sora's words were coming out in a rush now. If Demyx had been thinking more rationally, he might have attributed his classmate's confessions to the emotionally distressed state Sora currently seemed to be in.

But Demyx wasn't thinking rationally. He was halfway around to a full-out freak-out at the moment at this unexpected information. As Sora got closer, stopping only a few feet from him, Demyx noted the puffiness under the boy's eyes, the streaky remnants of tear stains across his face. Oh, right, he thought. Prom. It seemed so long ago, after all that had happened in the interim.

Securing the buttons on his shirt as he continued talking, Sora shot Axel a withering look. "That whole plan would have probably worked way better if you weren't constantly getting involved, by the way."

Demyx glanced at Axel who seemed nonplussed. "If not for me," he said, voice quiet but words coming out clear in the small space around which the room allowed them to travel, "you wouldn't even have known why he transferred in the first place. It's not like either of you had the guts to sneak a look at the admin records on your own." He shot Riku a pointed look. "Or the balls, in your case."

"Oh my God," Demyx cut in, bringing his hands up to his face and holding them over his eyes for a moment, before running them through the last remnants of product in his hair. "You all knew about me and didn't say _anything_?"

The three remained quiet, Sora looking the most uncomfortable as he turned subtly away from Demyx's anguished gaze.

"And now no one's even willing to admit that they're gay but me."

Axel opened his mouth, maybe to correct him, but closed it just as quickly when he saw Demyx's irate expression. Bi, gay, _whatever_. Screw semantics right now. For godssake.

"That's really, seriously pathetic," Demyx said, unable to help himself. For awhile now, for almost _two whole months_, he'd thought he was alone in this school, the only one feeling the way he did. And now he knew of three others who'd apparently been keeping the secret from him, not because they didn't know that he was gay as well, but for some other reason entirely, one that he, in this moment of complete information overload, couldn't fathom in the slightest.

"I already told you I'm _not_ gay," Sora snapped, the force with which he made the declaration enough to keep Demyx from shooting back an immediate retort. "I'm _transgender_."

The words seemed to have left Sora's mouth before he'd had a chance to think them through, for at that moment, his eyes widened, seemingly horrified over what he'd just said.

For his part, Demyx's mouth remained open, but no sound issued forth. Sora was _what_? The term, though familiar, held no instant meaning for him. He looked toward Riku and back to Sora, then over to Axel, with expectancy. This time, even the red-head didn't seem to have a clever or sarcastic comment with which to respond. His expression seemed purposefully neutral, perfectly schooled not to reveal his thoughts on the admission that had just issued forth, emotionally raw, straight out of Sora's mouth.

Mentally backtracking, Demyx returned to the moment Sora had twisted on Riku's lap, exposing his chest to the new arrivals to the room. _Transgender_.

Demyx shook his head slightly. This was all too confusing. And he thought _he_ had issues to work through.

"I may just be a little slow on the uptake but…um, that means you want to be a girl or something?" Demyx asked, scratching the back of his neck contemplatively. "Sorry. I just really can't see it." Even if he, y'know, had already technically just seen Sora's chest.

By his side, Axel made a sound at the back of his throat that sounded suspiciously like he was trying to swallow laughter. On the piano bench, Riku was scowling, a dark expression steadily growing on his face.

And in front of him? In front of him, Sora's eyes were a bright sapphire shimmer hinting at the tears he was trying to hold back. "You-you've got it backwards," he said, eyes dropping to his shoes, voice so quiet Demyx hardly heard the sentence in its entirety.

Backwards? So that …meant that Sora had been born a…

"Why do you think Roxas was so pissed about me being in the men's room at the dance?"

Oh.

_Oh_.

There were so many things he could say, so many questions he wanted to ask. At the mention of Roxas though, Demyx's thoughts went to another blonde, someone who was supposed to be his date for the evening and the person who had put him on notice that something might be different about Sora in the first place.

"Does this have anything to do with you only just starting at Holy Hearts this year?" he asked. That's what Naminé had said, right? That Sora had begun at the beginning of the school year, even though they'd all lived together in the same town since childhood.

Sora nodded, still looking down. "I was homeschooled before. I socially transitioned when I was a kid, but until Uncle Cloud took over as head pastor, I wasn't allowed to attend here as a male student." Sora was speaking more to his feet than to Demyx, his voice hardly offering more clarity than a half-muffled mumble at this point.

"But everyone knows anyway?" Demyx asked, feeling a little bad for the harshness in his voice. This was all just ...so much freaking information to try to work through.

"No," Riku cut in, tone equally sharp. "Just me and Axel."

"And Roxas…" Sora's voice caught as he said his cousin's name. "But only because he remembered me from …_before_." The last word came out strangled, harsh, as though Sora could hardly stand to reference that time in his life even in the vaguest of ways. Having just been in a situation himself that he'd much rather never discuss again, Demyx supposed he could understand the sentiment on some level, at least in part.

"And since he decided to get all butthurt about it instead of being accepting," Axel interjected, annoyance written plainly in his expression, "I've been taking it upon myself to give him other things to… concern himself with from time to time instead. Seemed only fair."

The snarky comments. Stolen locker room clothes. So many things were beginning to fall into place all at once that Demyx found himself at a total loss for words as he tried to consider these newfound resolutions to each and every confusing question he'd had from the last two months he'd spent at this school. Axel's antics with Roxas. Riku's protective demeanor around Sora. Even his own hesitation to be open about what had happened at his last school. They all made a little more sense, given this newly revealed information.

Stepping forward, Riku reached for Sora's suit coat, pausing to hand it over to his friend before glancing up at Demyx. "You have to keep quiet about this," he said. "I need," he stopped, looked at Sora before continuing, "_we_ need to know you'll keep this to yourself."

By his side, Sora nodded vigorously.

Pursing his lips, Demyx considered the request. "Why?" he finally said, not necessarily as defensive as he was curious at this point. "It's not like any of us are going to be at this school for much longer. Why does it even matter?"

"Because St. Bastion's doesn't know," Sora burst out. "Because if they find out my birth certificate doesn't match my school records, they could rescind my acceptance. Or...make me live in the female dormitories, at the very least." He looked so small, so vulnerable trying to explain himself, that Demyx felt his stomach roil in sympathy. It wasn't so long ago that he had also been terrified of being found out, maybe under different circumstances, but that hardly mattered. The consequences would probably end up being the same either way.

Slowly, Demyx nodded, his jaw set as he made his decision. "Okay," he said, looking Sora straight in the eyes, hoping it would convey his sincerity. "I won't say anything."

Sora seemed to visibly relax before his eyes, tension melting out of his body, shoulders lowering away from his ears. Or… should he be thinking 'her' ears instead of 'his', Demyx wondered for a brief moment. He forced the thought from his mind. It was weird to think that there was something so major about Sora he hadn't known about, but then again, he guessed if Sora hadn't wanted him to use male pronouns, he wouldn't have gone to so many lengths to keep his background a secret from everyone. At least he thought that sounded right.

Then something else occurred to him. "Um, not to change the subject or anything, but you guys are gonna keep my little confession to yourselves too, right?" He looked between his three classmates nervously. "I'm still trying to figure some things out, I guess."

Both Sora and Riku nodded in tandem. Demyx turned to Axel expectantly.

The red-head sighed, rolled his eyes upward, but did nod his affirmation. "This entire encounter is getting a little too reminiscent of a queer version of The Breakfast Club for my tastes, personally."

Demyx quirked his head at the reference. "I thought that was set in a school library during detention?"

Shrugging, Axel slid his hands into his pockets. "Close enough."

"Semantics," Sora added, a tentative smile on his face as he began first tucking in his shirt, then sliding his arms back into his suit coat with Riku's help.

"We should probably head back to the dance," Riku said as he smoothed the shoulders of Sora's suit back into place with gentle hands. "Before any of the chaperones realize we're gone." Demyx watched as his classmate's hands hands slid down Sora's arms, fingers curling around his friend's own hands for a moment, squeezing with affection. Sora, eyes distant, seemed to be savoring the moment as he distractedly nodded his agreement.

Demyx mimicked the nod, eyes drifting away from the pair and around the room. "You guys go ahead first. If it's okay, I just need …a moment here, I think." His voice was uncertain, as if he hadn't yet settled on the reason behind his request.

"It'll take a few minutes to call a cab. Take your time."

Demyx offered a ghost of a smile at Riku's words, inclined his head in thanks. He didn't watch as the three headed back to the band room door.

Then, silence, as Demyx scanned the empty space around him. He should probably be sorting out how he felt about what he'd just learned about Sora. And Riku and Axel too, come to think. But in the quiet stillness of Holy Hearts' band room, Demyx found himself thinking of someone else entirely, and wondering what all of the things he'd just learned tonight ultimately meant.

Not so long ago, Pastor Strife had said that God didn't give out more challenges than people could handle. Thinking about Ienzo, and then Sora, Demyx wasn't sure if he entirely agreed. This was all so hard, so terribly, awfully painful to have to experience. And he hadn't even graduated high school yet. There were still four years at St. Bastion's to have to deal with.

And then, what after? Would he figure out how to work through these feelings, to overcome them? Or would he always have to hide his true self away if he wanted to keep in his parents' good graces and remain a member of his faith community? Demyx didn't know. At this point, he wasn't convinced he even had to have all the answers. After all, that was God's role, not his, he reminded himself.

It'd just be so much simpler if he did know everything upfront though.

The soft jangle of keys brought Demyx back to the more immediate present. Slowly, he turned away from the piano, the conductor's box, and the chairs that splayed out like an immobile, silent audience before it. For a moment, he could almost see the memory of a pair of students, one trimester before graduation, laughing together as they cleaned and put away their instruments, one with hair of sandy blond grinning open and widely, the other much more controlled, self-conscious, his hair dyed slate blue.

Then they were gone, and Demyx felt alone again, two months older, but Lord knows if truly any the wiser.

He looked up, took in Axel who stood wordlessly by the entrance to the room, simply watching. He was so different from Ienzo, and Demyx still wasn't entirely sure he trusted his classmate, despite all that Axel had apparently done for him since his transfer. How long had it taken to build his last friendship with Izo though? Only time would really reveal what type of role Axel would end up playing in Demyx's own life, he assumed. And, with four years spread out before him at college, there would certainly be that in spades.

"The cab should be here soon. We made sure it was a larger one, which should drastically reduce the chances of Larxene murdering anyone tonight," Axel said, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. Even Demyx cracked a smile at the thought as he started to make his way over to his classmate.

He watched as Axel rubbed the small ring of keys that had gotten them into the building between his fingers, stopping a few paces before the taller boy. He was feeling breathless, with a melange of contrasting emotions, from sadness to hope to…something else, something that, after Ienzo, he never thought he'd feel again.

The red-head lowered his eyes to meet Demyx's. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," Demyx exhaled, chest nervously fluttering as he returned Axel's gaze. "Almost."

A ginger eyebrow rose in mild curiosity at the final word. Before the red-head could open his mouth to respond though, Demyx leaned forward, rising up onto the balls of his feet slightly, and pressed his lips against Axel's. Demyx heard the sound of keys clattering to the band room floor but didn't break the contact he'd initiated. Green eyes transitioned from curious to surprised in a split second, before fluttering shut as he returned the kiss, giving Demyx a sense of sweet satisfaction. For once, he was the one catching Axel off-guard. His eyes drifted closed soon after as he began to really lose himself in the kiss.

There was still so much to figure out, no question about it. But in this moment, at this time, all that mattered was where he was now and who he was with. And, Demyx thought, as he savored each successive touch of lips against lips, of fingers fully and _finally_ tangling in thick, red hair, that really wasn't such a horrible place to start.

_Selah_.


End file.
